


Wait For Me

by secretsofthesky



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Gangs, Hate Sex, Motorcycles, Prison, Sequel, Smut, Swearing, talk of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-07-06 21:59:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15894951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsofthesky/pseuds/secretsofthesky
Summary: Falling in love once is a beautiful thing. But to fall in love again with a lover that time made a stranger, well that's a magic all its own.Sequel to Can't Stay Away.





	1. The Promise

* * *

"So what did you do this time?" Rory took a long sip of her drink and quirked an eyebrow at the blonde standing next to her.

"I don't believe I did anything _wrong,_ " Paris insisted quickly, eyeing all the people around the loft apartment she shared with Mike with suspicion. "But my therapist tells me that sometimes even if you _feel_ you didn't do anything, if it will settle an argument, just admit defeat and _let it be_."

Rory tried to conceal her smile. "Oh, I see. So not only did you _apologize_ for whatever fight you two were having, but you also let Mike guilt trip you into throwing a house party as well? Which is so uncharacteristically you, I might add." Rory sent her a look that told her she didn't believe her at all. "Just out of the kindness of your heart and for the sake of your relationship because you didn't actual  _do_  anything  _wrong?_ "

Rory had always thought that after popping the question, Mike would become even more whipped than he had been in the years he'd dated Paris off and on. Turns out though, that it ended up being the other way around. Between Paris's engaged status and the couples counseling she insisted they go to, she had turned into a more subdued version of herself and Mike used that to his full advantage at every possible opportunity.

Paris glared. "It's a possibility that he  _thought_  I did something," she offered. " But anyways, we moved in over a month ago and still haven't had a housewarming party."

Rory laughed. "Paris, you hate housewarming parties." It was true. In fact, the girl hated _any_ kind of party so the fact that Mike had guilt tripped her into throwing this shindig proved that Paris must have done something _really_ bad this time. She had to give it to Mike though, he sure knew how to work Paris like no one else to not only make her apologize when she was at fault but to be able to get something out of it as well.

Paris glowered into her glass. "Well, it's happening and there's no stopping it now. There's already over fifty people here. I told him he could invite all his friends but come _on_ , I've never even seen that guy before!" Paris, uncaring of how rude it was, boldly pointed to a guy dressed in a white shirt and jeans, who was currently raiding the buffet table Paris had set up. He stopped midway from stuffing a mini sandwich in his mouth and stared at Paris like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Oh god, he looks like one of those guys that only washes his hands when he's showering, too. There goes the food."

Rory laughed into her drink even as her heart picked up its pace. She'd never seen the guy before either, but the way he dressed and the tattoos that littered his forearms were unmistakable. They were just like _Tristan's_. Glancing around, her eyes narrowed as she started to notice several other guys sporting the same apparel. She knew Mike still kept in contact with that part of his life, but didn't know he considered them the type of people to invite to a housewarming party. Especially after all of these years. What had it been now? Five years since she'd last seen anyone from the  _Kings_? It'd been so long, yet being surrounded by them were bringing back memories so vivid it was as if it had only been a week ago she was riding on the back of Tristan's bike heading to the pier.

Rory wrapped her arms around herself as she pushed the memories away. That had been a different her and things weren't the same anymore. She was no longer some gullible eighteen year old who was in love with a man who couldn't let go of a grudge and thought he was above the law. She was a college graduate, who at twenty five, had landed her first real job as a journalist for the New Haven Times. She had an quaint apartment on the east side, a circle friends whose idea of a good time wasn't drag racing or clubbing but dinner parties and Broadway shows, and had accomplished every goal she had set for herself.

She didn't recognize the girl who hopped on the back of a bike without a second thought anymore.

"I didn't know Mike really kept in contact with, _you know_ …" An odd feeling made its way into the pit of her stomach and she hugged herself tighter as she scanned the room.

"He doesn't. Well, not like you think." Paris answered her, though her own voice was now different and Rory turned to her to see her eyes narrowed as she herself scanned the room. "Oh, he thinks he's so  _smooth_."

In all the years Rory had known Paris, in all the times she had seen her mad, seen her infuriated, never had she heard her voice sound as lethal as it did right now.

Rory's heart thumped wildly in her chest as her anxiety grew. "Paris, what are you talking about?"

The blonde turned to her with apologetic eyes, and Rory took a step back in surprise. Paris _never_ looked nervous and definitely never looked apologetic. Even in the most pressing situations, the girl held a strong poker face. Yet the color was now gone from her face, and Rory found her own anxiety skyrocketing. 

"He told me this was a housewarming party." Paris insisted and Rory set her glass down on the mantel of the nearby fireplace as her palms began to sweat and the few appetizers she'd snuck earlier threatened to make another appearance.

"It's not?" Rory asked slowly. Not too sure what had the usually cool and collected girl freaking out, but she didn't like it at all.

"Rory, I need to tell you something. I know you told us a long time ago that you didn't want to know anything about Tristan-"

Rory's breath caught in her throat, but before she could say anything, a familiar voice floated across the flat. A voice she hadn't heard in over five years yet the accent was unmistakable.

"Love!"

Rory and Paris both turned to see Finn approaching them, a huge grin stretched across his tan face, but his eyes swan with just as much surprise as Rory herself felt. "What a lovely surprise," he greeted, taking the last few steps towards her and without another word, wrapped his arms tightly around her.

It was amazing, was all Rory could think. All the years that had passed and he still looked exactly the same- from the twinkling brown eyes that were always sparking with mischief and the intoxicating grin, to the trench coat and combat boots.

Rory opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again as she watched Paris walk away from them without another word, scanning the room for her fiancee.

Finn's eyes stayed on Paris's back until she was out of sight and then turned back to Rory as realization dawned on his face. "Unless you don't know, doll?"

Rory was happy she had already set her glass down, because with the way her hand was shaking she surely would have dropped it by now. "Finn," she finally greeted, but was unable to give him a friendly smile back. "Don't know _what_?"

Finn shook his head, his now wary eyes filling with a bit of amusement. "Well, this should be interesting. Apologies in advance, love."

Before Rory could ask him what he meant, the door to the flat opened and whistles and greetings echoed through the loft. She couldn't see who was there from where she was, but her heart and her gut told her what she already suspected was true.

Paris reappeared, dragging Mike by the collar of his shirt and after removing her hand, hit him on the back of the head.

"I'm sorry Rory, I didn't think you were coming. Honestly. Paris said you had to work, and if we decided if we had it anywhere else it would have gotten out of control. With the whole parole thing… " Mike's eyes were honest as he stared at her and Rory fought to breath.

"Rory, Tristan got out this morning. This isn't a housewarming party like this asshole told me it was. I should have figured it out but he guilt tripped me into it to start with and I didn't…" she trailed off when she noticed Rory's pale face. "It's a homecoming party. For Tristan."

And as if the fates had slowed down time so that they could watch the next moment in slow motion and laugh evilly to themselves, the loft quieted and the dozens of people that littered the big open room slowly parted until Rory could see just who it was that had just walked through the door.

One last person moved out of the way and her heart completely stopped as her eyes met with a crystal blue pair that she hadn't seen since that horrible day five years ago.

* * *

_Rory stepped off the elevator and made her way down the short hall to the door of the apartment her and Tristan shared._

_Stopping outside it, she paused before sliding the key into the lock and just smiled. If you told her two years ago she'd be living in New Haven with her boyfriend while she attended Yale she wouldn't have believed you. But yet here she was, freshman year out of the way and a month into her sophomore year and things honestly couldn't be better._

_Well, there's always the fact that she could have a considerably smaller workload for the weekend, she thought, glancing down at her oversized bag._

_Sliding the key into the lock she pushed open the door and a smile covered her face when she saw the boy who currently consumed her thoughts standing next to the island that sat in the center of their kitchen._

_Then her heart stopped when she took in the black hoodie he wore and the gun sitting on the counter in front of him._

_New Haven had been the start of a new life for Tristan. Over the past year he had amazed her by opening more shops with Finn and for the most part staying out of any and all illegal activities. He hadn't changed completely but he had met her in the middle, and that was more than she could have ever asked for. And a big part of that was that he had bought a safe that he kept in their apartment. A safe that would hold his guns. As a promise to her that he was going to change to where he wouldn't need to carry one with him at all times._

_A safe that hadn't been opened once in the year that they had lived together._

_Until now, apparently, Rory thought as she stared at the gun and clip that sat on the counter. Without a word to her, Tristan picked it up, sliding the clip in and slid it into the back of his jeans._

_A movement that sent her heart racing in fear._

_"Tristan what's going on?" She slowly lowered her bag to the floor and cautiously took a step forward._

_A knock on the door behind her, two solid raps and then one more had her jumping and eyes narrowing at it before turning back to Tristan. She knew that knock._

_Finn._

_"What's Finn doing here?"_

_Tristan continued to stay silent. His eyes finally meeting hers and she seen a look in them she thought she would never see again._

_"I have to go. I'll be back later."_

_He walked up to her as if to kiss her but she stepped out of his way. "No. You promised me."_

_She had overheard him talking to Finn a couple mornings ago when he thought she had been asleep. Heard how finally after a year the guy that had killed Marsters, the guy that had shot and almost killed Tristan twice now, was coming back to Hartford._

_Tristan had acted as if it was nothing and her dread eased with that. She had thought he wasn't going to bother with him. That Tee and whoever else was still in Hartford would deal with it how they chose. That it wouldn't involve Tristan anymore._

_But apparently she was wrong._

_"And I've kept my promise to you, Rory." His voice was low, even, sending chills racing down her back. "This is different."_

_His words were so final, even as the protests came from her lips she knew it wouldn't change a thing. But she had to try._

_"You don't need to do this." she stepped forward, sliding her hands up to frame his face and pressing her lips softy to his. "You are in a different place now."_

_His smirk was quick and lethal and she knew he meant it to knock her down._

_And it worked._

_"He tried to kill me, Rory. Twice. I've kept my promise because he hasn't been around. He ran away. Now he's back and going to start more trouble? Maybe find out where I am and come down here? No. I'm stopping it now."_

_Rory wrapped her arms around herself as tears burned her eyes._

_"If he does we'll call the cops, we'll do things the legal way." she tried but her voice was weak. Knowing the man who stood in front of her and that her offer was ridiculous to him._

_He leaned down, pressing his lips firmly to hers, lingering for a moment before pulling away. "I'll be back later, baby."_

_Anger coursed through her as he stepped around her and headed for the door, lifting his hood up over his head._

_"I won't be here." she told him defiantly. Not again, she couldn't go through all of this again. She wouldn't. "If you walk out that door right now, I wont be here when you get back."_

_The words were completely honest and for a second she actually thought he would realize that, that he would put the gun away and stay but his eyes just turned icy cold at the ultimatum as he looked at her one more time._

_"I'll be back later." he told her, calling her bluff as his hand gripped the doorknob and walked from their apartment. She saw Finn send her a guilty look from outside the door, from clearly hearing their conversation and then they were gone._

_When she heard bikes rev and race down the street she sunk to the floor._

_She couldn't do this again. She wouldn't. As much as it would hurt she would stand by her words. She had given him the choice and he had left. Forty five minutes later she picked herself up from the floor, called Paris to come over and without telling her what was happening she helped her pack her things and an hour later she left the key sitting on the counter where his gun had been, and left._

* * *

Her phone never went off. Not all night and she had assumed he was either still in Hartford or had come home to the empty apartment and was too stubborn to call her yet.

Until she turned on the news that night.

He had gotten arrested. After holding her breath for what seemed like forever she was able to breath again when she heard that he hadn't killed anyone.

The news always scrambled stories but she had heard from Paris what had really happened. The guy had fled and Tristan had taken chase, not willing to let him get away again, but never got the chance to end it all himself because the speed of the bike and looking over his shoulder to watch for Tristan proved to be too much and he had wrecked, dying almost instantly. Tristan had stupidly stopped to make sure, standing over the body, gun in hand and that was enough. Too many witnesses, and it was obvious what had led to the crash.

He was charged with attempted murder.

Finn came once and only once. Showing up outside Paris's dorm to apologize for his part in it all and to tell her about Tristan's request that she come to visit him. She had slammed the door in his face and it had been the last time she had seen him. Paris had found out from Mike that Finn had gone into their apartment to retrieve some things for Tristan and had told him about Rory's things missing the day after it all happened and Tristan knew it wasn't because he had gotten caught. That she had been gone the moment he had walked out that door that he wouldn't call after her again.

She had cried at that, for days upon days. Hating him for respecting her like that instead of respecting them both enough not to have left in the first place.

Then she refused to cry anymore. She told everyone she didn't want to hear anything more about him. She didn't want to know what happened in court, if he miraculously walked or if he was sent to prison. She didn't want to know how long and she didn't want to know where.

And her friends made that happen. Paris had literally woken up early and went and bought all the newspapers from the newsstands around campus every morning if they had an article about him in them until the trial was over.

So of course she had no idea that he had gotten out yet. Over the years she had thought she had seen him places. The back of a leather jacket, a deep voice, the rev of a bike would have her head spinning wondering if he was out, if he was there. But even as her heart soared her mind would force her to not care. She forced herself not to check, not to ask around.

And had built up walls for if and when she ever heard news of him. Preparing herself for it.

Of course she never thought that hearing that news would be moments before seeing him.

Heart thudding in her chest, she let the surprise slide from her face and replaced it with a look of indifference as he slowly walked towards her.

She couldn't move. Could only stare. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve white thermal that stretched across arms that had definitely grown over the years. And the shaggy blonde hair she remembered so well was now gone, leaving him with a military-esque buzz cut. But those were the only changes, she realized. He still looked exactly the same as the day he had walked out of her life and that was even more of a hit.

Heart in her throat, she kept her eyes challengingly to his as he stopped in front of her.

He watched her for a second before the corners of his lips turned up slowly.

"Hey, Mary."

* * *

 

_If you think of me_

_If you miss me once in a while_

_Then I'll return to you_

_I'll return and fill that space in your heart_

_-Tracy Chapman, The Promise_

 


	2. Let Her Go

  _Only know you love her when you let her go._

_-Passenger_

* * *

An hour later, Rory found herself still driving around New Haven, though her apartment sat only five minutes from Paris's flat. For some unknown reason she couldn't seem to bring herself to go home, driving in circles and down random roads, only stopping once shortly after leaving to call her mother. To let her know what had happened; that Tristan was out. That she'd stupidly been there at his  _welcome home_  party, what he had said, and that she'd walked out without a word and left him standing there with everyone watching.

Lorelai had told her the exact thing she knew she would when she called. To come home to Stars Hollow. That she would kick Luke out for the night and they would order too much food, hit the liquor store and they would drink, eat, laugh and not waste a second of thought on Tristan DuGrey. Yet she found herself declining and telling her mom she just needed to drive and think. After a few minutes of Lorelai expressing her worries about her being behind the wheel when she was experiencing so much, she had hung up and started driving again. It wasn't as if she was crying and was at risk of the tears blurring her vision of the road. It wasn't as if she was furiously driving either, speeding and taking turns too sharp out of frustration of the days events. She wasn't the reckless sort and would never endanger her own life, let alone anyone else's on the road. She just felt like she needed to be somewhere that wasn't home, wasn't work, wasn't even Stars Hollow and she was going to drive until she figured it out.

At first she had considered stopping by Logans to engage in some mindless sex that would momentarily allow her to push away the memories and the anxiety they had brought with them. But she couldn't bring herself to get caught up in  _that_  mess again. She hadn't even talked to him in months, although she knew that if she showed up at the his door it wasn't as if he would turn her away despite their lack of keeping in touch. He had told her that his door was always open for her, but even the  _thought_  of beginning a no strings casual relationship with him again turned her stomach for reasons she couldn't explain.

She turned the radio on only to turn it right back off when a song she'd danced with Tristan to many times at X slowly crooned out from the speakers. How ironic, she chuckled to herself. Someone up there must be having quite a laugh at her expense.

She took a moment at a stop light to close her eyes and relax back into her seat as the memory glided through her mind, refusing to creep back into the shadows where it had emerged from after years of being locked away. She saw the scene as if she was an onlooker watching the two of them in the dark crowded club, holding onto each other, swaying together. Not even to the same beat of everyone else and the song that was bursting through the speakers but to a beat all their own. A slow dance that seemed so out of place to everyone but them.

Shaking her head, she pushed the image away, refusing to remember the feelings that the memories tried making her remember. So, Tristan was out of prison then? He was back  _home_. She'd briefly wondered what kind of deal he had copped to only had a five year sentence, since she knew that the man she spent two years of her life with definitely wasn't the type that would get out on good behavior.

The light turned green and she pressed on the accelerator, deciding to keep going straight, still unsure about where her destination exactly was.

Another half hour passed and she found herself in Hartford, turning down a road that led towards the water that was glowing with color from the setting sun. Driving towards a place she hadn't been to in years and she realized that this was it, deep down she had been headed here all along. She stopped her car and parked it outside a fence that had a new shiny chain lock around it, blocking trespassers and her from driving any further and she wondered when that had happened. If the owner of the property had did it after hearing of Tristan being locked up. Wondering if the only reason it had been left open before was because he had known Tristan had visited the spot and kept it open out of fear of him.

Her eyes focused on the bike that sat parked just outside the fence and her heart seemed to beat a little faster at the sight of it. She shook her head, refusing to indulge in the thoughts that he would be here waiting for her. He was here because this was his getaway place. That was all.

She sat for a moment, trying to talk herself out of it, but yet found herself exiting the car and walking to the fence, her heels clicking quietly against the cement. She pushed one side of the gate as far as the chain lock would allow to bend and slide in between it and ignored the rush she felt knowing she was trespassing. Tristan was back a day and already she was breaking the law, she mused. Cursing herself, she walked slowly to where she knew Tristan would be sitting, staring out over the water just as he had been so many times when she had come here.

A part of her told her to turn around. To get back in her car and leave but she knew she couldn't. It would be a childish thing to do. She was a grown woman now. She refused to run from her problems as she had so many times before. The only way to deal with this is head on. She needed closure. They _both_  did.

The cool wind blew at her shoulder length hair as she approached him, sitting silently with his legs draped over the side of the pier, a cigarette between his fingers.

He took a long final drag and tossed the butt to the side. "Didn't expect you to come here." His voice drifted over to her even though he hadn't turned, and just remained staring out over the bay.

Rory crossed her arms, partly in a nervous gesture and partly to protect herself against the cold. "I thought you'd quit."

He moved his shoulders in a careless shrug and her eyes once again focused on the new muscles that seemed to move under his shirt. "Well, there wasn't much else to do in prison. It kept my hands busy from doing other things."

The lump in her throat grew as her imagination ran wild with his words, wondering all that had happened in the last five years. "We need to talk." she told him as she moved to sit beside him on the pier, removing her shoes to place beside her and letting her legs drape down. Not nearly as close as they used to sit, hand in hand watching the water. Instead she sat a foot or so away yet could still seem to feel the heat coming from his body. Still catch the scent of him in the breeze. Making it seem as if the wind that blew over to her were his own fingertips brushing along her skin.

"So you didn't just come here to go a round or two over there?" Tristan nodded towards the familiar shed that sat a few yards away. Where the cot that they had spent quite a few memorable days on was, making love and just enjoying each others company away from society and in their own little corner of the world.

She nearly smiled, even as the chill of the memories crept up her spine. "I'll have to pass."

He turned to her then, his blue eyes seemed to be glowing in the darkening sky. "Shame." He said, his lips not moving yet she could see the smile in his eyes.

Rory was lost, just staring into their dark blue depths, not knowing what to say, where to start and just waited, getting lost in the fact that it felt so comfortable to be here right now. As if nothing had changed.

He spoke then, his voice calm and quiet, breaking the illusion that they were just two kids in love, watching the sunset. "So what would you like to talk about Rory?"

Her name on his lips sent feelings coursing through her that she'd rather were left buried. "I don't know." she told him honestly and took a slow deep breath. "I just wanted to get things out in the open. We're both adults now. Things are, well, nothing like they were before and…"

"Rory." Tristan cut her off, his lips showing a ghost of a smile. "I didn't expect them to be."

Rory didn't know what to say, so she just turned to the water, watching the waves crash up against the rocks. There was a storm coming. How fitting. Tristan was back and had brought a storm with him after weeks of shining sun.

"So…" Tristan had her turning to him again. Being here, with him, brought back so many feelings inside of her and she hoped they weren't evident when he looked into her eyes. "How are you?"

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips as she shook her head. Leave it to Tristan just to start a simple conversation when she was here trying to think of the right words to say. She hated how simply it was to slide into the comfort of talking to him.

"I've been pretty amazing Tristan." she told him honestly, meeting his eyes. "School is done. I have a job that I love. My mom is doing great, my grandparents are doing great. Everything is just… great."

He was quiet for a moment, eyes moving to watch the water before turning back to her. "Well I know you might not believe this but that's really nice to know. I'm happy to hear it."

Rory opened her mouth to speak and then just shut it again. No sarcastic comment? No prying? Who was this man sitting beside her?

"I didn't plan it." he said and she waited for him to continue as he reached for another cigarette but then seemed to decide against it and tossed the pack into a nearby tin barrel that homeless used for fires in the wintertime. "I didn't say no though when it was offered."

Rory folded her hands in her lap, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "I'm lost."

"Mike's." Tristan explained, looking back out at the ocean. "When him and Finn came to see me a couple weeks ago he offered to have a get together at his place. I didn't want a get together at all. A welcome home party really isn't my thing but Finn's a party animal and uses any excuse to throw one so I knew it was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not." His lips turned up slowly. "So when Mike offered a to have it at his place, I knew there was a chance at you being there so I went along with it."

Rory felt like she should be angry, but didn't dare to allow the anger to take residence in her right now because she knew it would lead to other things and she didn't come here to fight. "Oh."

He met her eyes again and she watched him closely while he seemed to search for words. "I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

Rory quirked an eyebrow, a corner of her lips turning up. "Tristan DuGrey apologizing? And looking sincere about it, too?"

His shrugged, and stayed quiet for a moment, watching as the sun dipped further before turning to her again. "Well, I do have a lot to be sorry for."

Rory pursed her lips, breaking his gaze and turning away. "Don't we all." her words were quiet, a whisper next to the crashing waves.

They sat in silence for what felt like mere seconds and eternity at the same time. Watching the sun set, listening to the waves. She wondered if he was fighting an inner battle like she was right now and glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was watching the water, his face relaxed and she realized this was his first sunset in five years. Her heart ached at the thought and she bit her lip, pushing the feeling away. What happened had happened and there was no changing it now.

Now that they weren't at a party surrounded by people and instead sitting alone, she took the opportunity to look him over again and saw that, unlike her first impression, he actually  _had_  changed. But not just in a physical way. The way he sat, so relaxed as opposed to how guarded she remembered him. The lines in his face slightly deeper and his cheeks more hollow, older. Gone were the reckless eyes, replaced by pools of emotion that she couldn't decipher.

She watched as the corner of his lips turned up and knew he had felt her watching him. "So," he glanced at her, his eyes confirming that he definitely had caught her staring. "Paris and Mike are getting married, huh?"

Rory nearly laughed at the fact that her cheeks had flushed at being caught and ran a hand through her hair, remaining silent for a moment before answering. "That's actually a big part of why I'm here." She turned serious eyes on him.

Tristan raised an eyebrow, mischief dancing across his face "Need a date for the wedding?"

Now there was the man she knew. She sent him a look, unable to hide the smile that touched her lips, but not allowing him to deter her away from what she wanted to say. "It's not like were going to be able to avoid each other. I hadn't known Mike had kept in contact."

Tristan nodded. "As much as Finn. He… he helped with some things."

Rory wondered but didn't ask. She would see if Paris knew anything later but right now, she didn't know if she could take a long conversation about the things that happened during his sentence. Ignorance was bliss.

"Well…" she breathed, hands figgeting in her lap. "I don't know whether you plan to stay in New Haven or come back here to Hartford, but like I said it's obvious we'll most likely be running into each other and I want it to be as little awkward as possible."

Tristan sat, quietly listening. No judgment in his eyes, no sarcasm in his voice. "How would you prefer we do that?"

Rory searched his face, needing to know if this was an act. This calm, easy going man? Or had prison changed him in ways she couldn't even fathom? "To come to an agreement. To leave the past in the past."

"That's fine with me."

Even as her heart filled with joy, a bit of hurt made it's way t her chest and she hated that it did. This is what she wanted, right? What did it matter to her if they left the past in the past? Forgot everything. "I don't know what I expected to happen if I ever saw you again. On the drive here, I didn't know whether to laugh or want to kill you at what you first said to me after not seeing me for five years…"

Tristan let out a chuckle. "You looked like a deer in the headlights. I figured it would help loosen you up a bit. Didn't really expect you to just walk out." he mused, bringing a hand to his chin. "A slap, a punch, a carefully aimed glare with five years of hate behind it, yeah. But you being all cool and collected, and just slipping by and leaving. I hadn't expected that." He wasn't making fun, or even sounding put off, instead he just seemed genuinely surprised.

Rory shrugged. "I didn't feel like putting on a show." she remembered all the people she'd left at the party and cringed.

"That wasn't what I wanted." Tristan said honestly, his eyes on her until she brought hers to meet his again.

Rory sighed. "Then what  _did_  you want?" she asked him, her hands clenching into fists.

Tristan was quiet for a moment, staring off over the water. "I'm going to make it up to you, Rory."

She turned to him sharply. "I don't expect, or  _want_  you to make anything up to me." the pure disbelief she felt at his statement evident in her voice.

"I respected you." he told her. "When I found out that you had kept your word when I left, I didn't try and change your mind. I respected your choice."

Rory laughed, though it lacked all humor. The contestation instantly changing. "You respected me? Yeah, you did. But it was the wrong time. You should have respected me enough to never leave at all. You don't get to be the hero and act like you did me some huge favor by letting me get my life back and not trying to contact me."

"You're right."

Rory's eyes narrowed as the anger started to build. "What, no typical Tristan response insisting that what he did was the right thing?"

"Is that what you want?"

Rory held her hands out to her sides. "I don't want anything. For a long time I thought you walking out was by far the worst thing that ever happened to me." she met his eyes steadily, refusing to look away. "Then I grew up."

Tristan just nodded, watching her. "Whether you want to believe it or not, so did I."

Rory shook her head, standing up and grabbing her shoes. Irritated at herself as her hand shook when she tried to slip them back onto her feet. "Well it doesn't matter. Because whatever plans you might have you just need to forget them. You don't need to make anything up to me. The girl you left standing in that apartment is gone." she straightened, squaring her shoulders defensively. "You don't know me anymore."

Tristan stood then, easily boosting himself up and letting his hands dive deep into the pockets of his jeans as he faced her. "I could say the same thing."

"No you can't." Rory crossed her arms, looking away for a moment as she remembered the pain she felt when the man she thought loved her more than anything walked out on her. "I can't  _not know you anymore_  because I apparently never knew you at all to start with."

"You did." Tristan told her, his eyes flashing. "But I'm not going to press the issue." He shrugged. "If you want civility, I can do that. Since like you said, we'll probably be seeing a lot of each other."

Rory crossed her arms in front of her, glancing down at her shoes before meeting his eyes again. "Yeah. We will."

"And we can leave the past in the past." he offered.

Rory breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Tristan shrugged again, though now there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "We're just two people who don't even know each other."

"That…" Rory's eyebrows raised at the statement. "That will be perfect."

He looked back as the sun made its final dip into the horizon. "Better get going. Wouldn't want to get caught out here.  _Trespassing_."

She let out a small smile when he chuckled at the irony. She knew it didn't matter who actually owned the pier, this was and always would be Tristan's place. "Yeah… I should get going too."

Tristan just stood watching her and she shifted under his gaze. "So I'll see you around."

"Yeah." she said, feeling like she was in an alternate universe. The conversation had started building into a fight yet instead of fanning the flames like he always had, unable to control his temper and biting responses, he had somehow turned it all around. She really  _didn't_  know the man standing in front of her. "I'll see you around."

She only managed a few steps before his voice had her turning back to him. "By the way," he said, closing the distance between them until he was merely a foot away. "I'm Tristan." His eyes danced at her as he formally held out a hand.

She didn't know why, maybe the shock and surprise or maybe just because somewhere deep down she wished that this was a new beginning. That they were meeting for the first time once again. That everything that happened before, every terrible thing, was now erased… but she found herself putting a hand in his.

The feel of his strong rough hand enveloping hers sent electricity shooting through her body. That small touch of her skin against his awoke feelings long buried and she remembered the attraction that had brought them together in the beginning and realized it was still very much there. He held her hand in his for a second, blue eyes on blue eyes and then loosened his grip but when she went to pull her hand away, he just held it more firmly once again and brought it to his lips.

His blue eyes stayed on hers for a moment as his lips grazed the top of her hand and then they shut, as if savoring the moment. Savoring the feel of her.

Rory's mouth fell open in surprise, but didn't know what to do except stand there and allow it. No amount of past pain or rage was enough to outweigh the shock of the gesture and pull her hand away. Though even as her heart seemed to soar, a pain stabbed deep. Reminding her. Not allowing her to ever forget.

As if he had felt it to, Tristan slowly lowered her hand, holding it for a moment before letting it go. When the cold air hit where his warm hand had been, Rory found herself pulling it to her body, holding it close to her chest.

She stood for a moment, unsure of what to do, what to say and then decided against doing anything more. Without another word, she walked to the fence and slipped back through it, casting one glance back at the man who was watching her leave before getting into her car and driving away.


	3. Never Let Me Go

Looking up from underneath  
Fractured moonlight on the sea  
Reflections still look the same to me  
As before I went under

_-Florence + the Machine, Never Let Me Go_

* * *

_Rory turned the key in her apartment door and narrowed her eyes as she realized it was already unlocked. Pushing it open, she heaved her over packed book bag onto the kitchen counter and glared towards the living room where loud hoots and hollers could be heard._

_Great, just great. Tristan has to have all his friends over on the night when she had a deadline and some serious writers block._

_Taking a deep breath, she picked her bag up and set it down again but with much more force, sending a crack throughout the entire apartment. The voices instantly quieted._

_Becoming more and more irritated by the second, she opened her bag and started pulling her books out much more forcefully than necessary and only spared Tristan a momentary glance when he entered the kitchen._

_"Having a party?" The words were lethal and she didn't care. She had a headache coming on and her whole afternoon in the library resulted in only two paragraphs which she had just deleted after rereading them and hating every word. "Didn't mean to interrupt but the library closed. I would have just opened my laptop and went at it on a park bench somewhere but the sun was setting and I was afraid of getting mugged." After taking out her laptop and putting it on the table she turned towards the living room where the voices had now quieted but the TV still rang loud with the sounds of the baseball game that was on. "Though I see all the hoodlums I would have to be worried about are actually in my living room."_

_Oh god, she sounded like her grandmother._

_Tristan looked like he was about to laugh but seemed to think better of it and just let out a cough and raised an eyebrow. He was lucky, Rory thought, because if he had laughed there was a good chance that she would have thrown one of her books right at his head._

_"Still having trouble?" Was all he said, his blue eyes impassive as he watched her, leaning back against the kitchen island with his hands deep in his pockets._

_Rory blinked, feigning confusion. "What gave you that idea?" she asked sweetly before collapsing into a chair and staring dumbly at her computer._

_"You need a break, Mary." Tristan chastised from behind her. "You've been at it for a week now and nothings coming up. I've been telling you you just need to relax and not think about it for a while and it will just come to you."_

_Rory rolled her eyes. "That's so easy for you to say. You're not the one going on her final few hours before her deadline for an article that could have a major impact on my chances for employment after school. I don't think a horse tranquilizer would be able to relax me right now."_

_Tristan didn't say another word and just headed back towards the living room. A few minutes later, and a few random apologizes from some of the guys as they walked past her, the apartment was empty except for her and Tristan._

_"You didn't have to send them home." Rory muttered, now feeling horrible for taking her stress out on him._

_"Well…" Tristan began, coming up from behind her and squatting down, leaning over her chair until his chin rested on her shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. "We needed some privacy."_

_"Tristan, I need to…."_

_His lips were at her ear, his hot breath quieting her and she found her eyes closing automatically as the heat sent feelings throughout her body. Feelings she had been suppressing all week, telling herself she needed to focus on her work and not sex. "Shhh."_

_Before she knew what he was doing, his hand was on her computer, clicking out of her writing program and turning the internet off before opening up the webcam and enlarging the screen until all she saw was them. "What are you doing?" Her words were shaky as excitement rushed through her._

_"I want you to be able to watch." he told her, his lips against her ear again before slowly traveling down her neck. "I want you to see yourself relax." He nipped at her ear. "I want you to watch me get you off." He teased, nipped, sucked and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen and what he was doing to her. "I'm helping you out, baby. Just enjoy the show."_

_She never knew she'd be turned on by watching the way he kissed her but yet found her breaths getting more shallow as the need built. Watching his mouth work at her neck, his hands caressing the skin under her shirt while she sat there completely helpless to him and forgetting her deadline. Forgetting everything except the fact that he was getting to her in a way he had never before._

_A quick movement had his hands rising higher under her shirt until it was up over her head and her bra quickly followed. Yet still he stayed behind her, on his knees now, the back of the chair still separating them except for his hands wrapped around her body and caressing the now exposed skin._

_She wanted to shy away, but couldn't. Seeing herself being touched, watching his eyes behind her as they clouded while he made her body come alive. It was the most erotic moment of her life. His hands came up to caress her breasts, toying with her nipples until her knuckles turned white from gripping the arms of her chair so hard._

_"Tristan…" she breathed, closing her eyes momentarily but then quickly opening them again when he bit her neck._

_"Keep them open, baby. Watch how I help you relax." his words moved over her as he kissed down her shoulder and one hand journeyed back down her stomach to slip under the yoga pants she wore._

_She couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips and then her eyes met his on the screen as he moaned himself, feeling just how ready she already was for him._

_"Tristan…" she pleaded, needing him. Needing to be skin to skin with him, to feel him inside her._

_"Patience, Mary." his eyes glinted as his fingers slipped inside her. "Watch." he demanded when her eyes fluttered closed again and she looked back at the screen, watching him building her up higher and higher._

_She came in an instant, the feeling of it quaking through her whole body had her head falling back, yet her eyes were unable to be torn away from the site of herself. Of him still touching her._

_His eyes met hers again before he suddenly spun her chair around until she was facing him and brought his lips down to hers as he pulled off his shirt and started unhooking his pants._

_"Get on the table."_

_Clouded eyes met his momentarily before she moved her laptop to the side and did what he said._

_"Rory…"_

"Rory? Are you okay?"

"What?"

Emma, the sophomore Yale student who interned part time as Rory's assistant straightened her glasses, looking around before meeting Rory's eyes again. "I asked you your advice on de-stressing when you have a huge deadline and a bad case of writers block. And you just kind of… zoned out." she said the last part in a quiet voice, obviously afraid of overstepping her bounds. Her shyness and drive was what had Rory hiring her though she really didn't need an assistant. The girl reminded her so much of herself at that age.

"I umm…" Rory mumbled, brushing her hair back from her face, suddenly feeling like the room was far too small to be in. Oh,  _wow_. Her hands shook as she grabbed at her coffee on her desk and despite the fact that it was no longer warm, drank until she felt she could form a coherent sentence. "Sorry Emma, just have a lot on my mind." she apologized, putting on her best smile. She wasn't about to tell her that old highly erotic sexual encounters with her recently  _paroled_  ex was what had her zoning out. "About the engagement party tonight." she lied.

Emma's face lit up. "Oh, of course! Being a maid of honor is a lot of work." The girl smiled, instantly forgetting about Rory's episode. "But your vacation is coming up next week, right? And then you'll have a few weeks away and can focus all your attention on the wedding. I hear it's going to be the most talked about of the year."

Rory smiled, thankful she let her momentary lapse of sanity go. "Yes, but I will still be working from home." she told her. "It's just going to make Paris feel a lot better knowing I'm not technically  _at_ work working and can be at her every beck and call."

Though she wished that she would still be working so that she could get away when she needed to. She felt guilty for even wishing that Paris and Mike would suddenly decide to put the wedding off for another few months, or  _years_ , Rory mused. Yes, a few more years and then maybe she would be okay with the fact that Tristan not only would be at the wedding, but  _in_  it. And not only the wedding but everything, seeing as though Paris had sprung it on Rory the week prior that Mike had asked Tristan to be his best man. So he would be the one walking arm and arm with her down the aisle on the day.

"You guys seem like really good friends."

Emma's wistfully sigh had Rory meeting the girls eyes again. "We started out as enemies believe it or not." Rory chuckled at the memory. "But yeah, she's one of my best friends." And that reason, and that reason only, had Rory not backing out and freaking out when she heard the news. Instead she rationalized it and the fact that in a month the wedding would be over with and things would go back to normal.

She hadn't even seen him in the two weeks since the encounter on the pier. The encounter that had left her reeling and her mind going crazy and she needed time to get herself together. She had avoided Paris's place like the plague just incase Tristan would be there and made up every excuse she could not to attend meetings for the wedding. And Paris, scared to death that Rory would bail on her altogether, had given her two weeks to come to terms with everything. She had, as she so vehemently told Rory after failing at it, tried to get Mike to change his mind and stick with Finn. But he wasn't having any of it and Finn oh so graciously bowed out after just being promised that he could still make the best man toast.

As for how long, and for what reasons Mike had kept in contact with Tristan, Paris still had no idea. And while Rory liked the new subdued Paris, for just this time she wished the old version of herself would come back and force Mike to explain how Tristan and him had gotten so close. But Mike had that way of smoothing things over with Paris and had kept his lips shut, telling her that it would have to be Tristan who explained it and that it wasn't his place.

* * *

 

"Umm Rory?" Emma peeked her head back in the door and Rory sent her an apologetic look realizing she had once again gotten lost in her thoughts and hadn't even realized the girl had left the room. "Jess is on line one."

"Thank you, Emma." Rory sent her a smile before reaching for the phone.

"Rory Gilmore."

"You are an evil, _evil_  godmother."

Rory laughed at Jess's greeting. "And why is that?" she asked though she already knew what he was referring to as she could hear the loud bang of drums in the background.

"Buying Liam a set of drums? A legit set of  _drums_. For my son. Who is _two_  years old." Jess slowly bit out the sentences. "Who has absolutely no idea about rhythm yet and just likes to bang on things."

Rory sat back into her chair, spinning it to look out the window as she talked, enjoying her fifth floor view of New Haven. "But he insisted on them when we went shopping! What kind of godmother would I be if I told him no?" Rory smiled at the image of her god son, a head full of untamed black hair and mischievous eyes just like his father, banging on the drums and driving his father slowly insane. "What was it that Luke always told you?" Rory grinned. "That all the ruckus you caused would come back to you tenfold when you had your own kid?"

She could just picture Jess narrowing his eyes and the steam coming out of his ears. "I was  _sixteen_. I should at  _least_  have another fourteen years of peace before I have to deal with any kind of karma."

Rory tsked, turning back to her laptop and shutting it down before starting to pack up for the night. "Well from what I've heard you were quite the crazy little toddler too."

"Mmhmm." Was Jess's only reply. He called to his girlfriend that he was going to step outside so he could hear before the drums slowly faded into the background. "So… big party tonight."

It was Rory's turn to narrow her eyes. "Yes. Yes it is." she said, standing up with her briefcase and walking over to the window again.

"And are you ready?" Was all Jess asked, knowing her better than almost anyone and being the ear that she had filled with her worries the most the past couple weeks.

She let out a humorless chuckle. "Ready to see Tristan again or ready to see him again amidst the majority of Hartford,  _and_  my grandparents, who have no clue that he's out of prison yet, by the way."

Jess chuckled. "Man, I wish I could be there."

Rory walked from her office, waving a goodbye to Emma before heading to the elevator. "You could always don a dress and go in my place. With all that hair of yours I'm sure you pull it off." Rory offered.

"Ha ha ha." Jess deadpanned. "No really, Ror, you going to be okay with this?"

Rory leaned back against the elevator wall as the doors shut and she was enveloped in silence. "I've had two weeks and to be honest the only thing they've accomplished is me being a child and hiding from him. I went to the pier and we talked it out. We agreed we would do our best for things not to be awkward and leave the past in the past. No, at the time I didn't know he was going to be Mike's best man but it's just a small detail. I've come to terms that things are how they are and I just need to accept them."

"And yet again I ask, are you going to be okay with this?" Jess's all knowing voice made her smile.

"Yeah. To be honest I'm less worried about seeing him again and more worried about my grandmother." Rory admitted as she made her way to her car.

Jess outright laughed now. "You'll have to tell me all the details. And Rory?" Jess said and Rory stopped in movement off opening her door. "I'm here if you need me. Despite the fact that you're an evil woman who buys my son toys from hell."

Rory smiled, feeling slightly more at ease now. "I know. Now go support your son. He could be the next John Bonham."

Jess snorted sarcastically but Rory knew that's exactly what he was going to go do. "Later, Gilmore."

Rory hit the end button on her phone and climbed into her car, letting her hands rest on the steering wheel for a moment before starting it. It would be fine. So what if she just had a mind blowing memory about their past that had her heart still beating slightly faster than its normal rhythm? She was going to be cool and collected. She was old enough to know that attraction didn't mean that you had romantic feelings for someone. Just look at her and Logan. Despite that one brief lapse of sanity where she thought she wanted more than just the friends with benefits thing, she barely felt anything at all for him. Not that her attraction to Logan was anything compared to the way she reacted to Tristan, but it was the same all in all. She accepted that she would always be attracted to the first man she'd ever been with and that was that. As for her feelings, she was in complete control.

She started the car and then took a deep breath when her eye caught the dry cleaning she had picked up before work that day hanging in her back seat. With her eyes focused straight ahead, she pulled from the car garage and headed for home, telling herself repeatedly that she chose to buy the short red silk cocktail dress because it flattered her, not because she was interested in making anyone feel the same attraction she'd been dealing with since that day on the pier.

* * *

 

"I'm going to elope. It's final. Go get Mike and tell him, we'll take off tonight."

Rory chuckled as she took one of the bobby pins she held between her lips and clipped Paris's hair up.

"Just relax and it'll be over before you know it. You guys should have had an engagement party months ago but you kept putting it off."

Paris narrowed her eyes into the mirror. "Because it's pointless. I changed our relationship status on facebook, everyone knew we were engaged. I even talked my parents out of throwing a party. This is all Louise's fault for convincing her parents that Mike and I needed this lavish social exploitation." Paris muttered. "The invitations have been out for three months, there's no need to announce our engagement. If there's someone who doesn't know then they're obviously not important enough to attend the wedding so they don't  _need_  to know."

Rory laughed and put her hands on Paris's shoulders, meeting her eyes in the mirror. "You get to be gushed on for a night. Enjoy it." she told her and then continued before she could start ranting again. "And think of it as this being Mikes night to show off the amazing woman he won."

"What am I, a carnival prize?" Paris muttered but her voice was now different as a smile grazed her lips. "It's funny though how Louise is still raising hell in our lives even though she's not even here to reap the benefits of seeing me pull my hair out."

Rory grinned. "And she hates you for that too, seeing as though you delaying the party for so long now makes it so she cant be here because of her filming schedule."

Paris stood up and walked over to the other side of the room to stare out the window at the cars that were piling into the circular driveway. "Well maybe that was my plan all along." She sent Rory a sideways glance and smirked. "I still cant believe she got a role on that TV show and convinced them to give Madeline a part too. I feel sorry for the PA's who have to deal with their diva demands."

Rory smiled fondly, thinking of her friends and the mark they were making in Hollywood. And how even after all the years, the two of them were still attached at the hip. Even the characters they played were best friends in high school.

All of them had made it, out of college and all accomplishing their dreams. And here she was now, maid of honor as her best friend got hitched. Where had the time gone?

"Are you going to cry?" Paris quickly broke Rory's train of thought, her eyes widened as she stared at her. "Why are you crying? Is this because of Tristan? God help me I will…"

Rory waved a hand to stop the rant and laughed, blinking away the tears. "No, Paris. I'm just happy. Happy that you're happy. That is all. Tristan wasn't even a small part of my thoughts." she promised. Though he was now. And she was wondering where exactly he was downstairs and what exactly he was doing.

"If you say so." Paris said, narrowing her eyes in speculation once more before turning back towards the mirror. "Lets go make our entrance before any more people arrive because with my luck I'm going to trip down the stairs and fall flat on my face."

"Well if you do I promise to help you up, after I stop laughing."

Paris snorted as she walked to the door. "Some maid of honor you are." she accused and took a deep breath before signaling to Rory to join her. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. You?"

Paris nodded, standing up straight. "Lets get this torture over with." she said before making her way to the stairs and slowly down them. Rory waited up in the hall until she made it to the bottom and smiled as everyone clapped at the soon to be brides entrance. She sighed when she saw Mike waiting at the bottom of the stairs to take Paris's hand and then pull her into a kiss that had everyone cheering.

Waiting until all eyes were turned away from the steps now and on Paris, Rory slowly made her own decent, eyes scanning over the crowd as she did so, making sure everything was going as planned. She'd have to make a stop in the kitchen, she realized, to tell them to double up on the appetizers per trip as they seemed to be disappearing rather quickly.

Making a mental note to herself, she reached the half way point of the stairs and turned to descend the rest as her eyes scanned the room once more and then stopped mid step as she caught a familiar pair of eyes on her from across the room.

Her heart skipped a beat as she took in his appearance. He was standing on the far side of the room, leaning against a wall like he always did. His suit jacket was no where to be found and his white dress shirt was untucked and had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the numerous tattoos that covered his arms, his tie loose and hanging around his neck. For a second, she realized what he would have looked like if she had attended Chilton the same time as he had. If she had known him before he had ran away and started to live his life on the streets. This is what he would have looked like if he she had met him under different circumstances. Well, she realized as heat rose to her cheeks and she descended the remaining stairs, the attraction would still have been very much there, she realized.

Quickly grabbing a drink from a passing waiter, she downed it quickly and headed in the opposite direction, hoping that her momentary paralysis on the stairs hadn't been evident to anyone who may have seen her. It was bad enough that Tristan's eyes had been on her and she could have sworn she seen his lips turn up before she had looked away.

"Rory!" Rory spun at the sound of her grandmothers voice and quickly downed her second glass of champagne before her grandmother could scold her, no doubt having seen that it was already her second glass in a manner of minutes.

"Hi, Grandma." Rory greeted, forcing a smile to her lips as the first hint of a buzz made its way to her head. "How are you?"

Emily Gilmore put her elbow in Rory's and steered her over to a corner while smiling at everyone she passed. "I would be a lot better if I wasn't surrounded by convicts covered in tattoos." she said, though you would never knew she was talking as her smile stayed perfect to everyone around them, never hinting that she was anything but happy. She definitely missed her life's calling as a ventriloquist, Rory mused.

"Well they  _are_ Mike and Paris's friends." Rory told her when they were away from the crowd and moved her eyes to study the room. She really needed to get back to the kitchen and tell them about the appetizers. The quiche were flying off the trays but the shrimps seemed to be getting left behind.

"Oh,  _I_  see." Emily's smile grew though her eyes told a different tale. "So I'm attending the engagement party of two people who associate with known criminals."

Rory shook her head. She had far too much to do to be pulled into a corner and listen to her grandmother complain about the guests. "No. You're attending a party of your very good friends the Grants grandson and his fiancée." Rory corrected and waved as a couple girls she knew from Yale called out her name. "And you're forgetting one major thing grandma."

Emily rested her left hand in the junction of her right elbow, balancing a drink in her hand that she casually sipped on. "And what is that?"

"This isn't your party, it's Paris and Mikes." Rory told her and held up a hand before she could interrupt. "And before you condemn them for being friends with certain people, remember that I lived with one, so you're putting me down as well."

Emily quickly hushed her and looked around to see if anyone had heard before turning wide eyes back to her granddaughter. "It's been long enough that most people have probably forgotten. There's no need to bring that up. And thank god he is still rotting in a cell and not here, too. I guess I can at  _least_ be thankful for that."

Rory tried not to laugh at the fact that her grandmothers hawk eyes hadn't seen Tristan yet, but it slipped out anyway. "Actually…"

Emily set her drink down and stared at her granddaughter with dread. "Please don't tell me…"

Rory just nodded and quickly kissed Emily's cheek and started away before she experienced the oncoming meltdown that was about to ensue. "Enjoy the party, grandma."

Despite her grandmothers protests she quickly made her way to the kitchen to let the servers know about the changes in the appetizers and stopped in her tracks as soon as she walked through the door.

"It is positively delicious, doll." Finn said as he leaned over the kitchen counter and made puppy eyes at Sookie. "You must let me hire you to be my personal chef. I'll pay you in any way you please. What's your pleasure?"

Sookie blushed from her head to her toes, letting out a giggle before walking away to stir her red sauce. "Oh Rory! Hi!" she called when she noticed her and came over to give her a quick hug. "Do you know Finn?" she asked, her smile blinding as she pointed to the Australian who was now stealing appetizers from trays before they could be taken out to the party.

Rory rolled her eyes dramatically and nodded, making her way over to the guy, who like Tristan, had shed his coat and loosened his tie. "Don't like wearing a suit, Finn?" she asked after letting Sookie know to double up on the quiche.

Finn pulled at his tie and mocked being strangled. "I feel naked with out my trench coat." he told her, and then batted his eyelashes. "I've been meaning to ask if you're mad at me for the best man switcheroo we pulled."

Rory crossed her arms in front of her and then dropped them and narrowed her eyes as Finn followed them and his eyes landed on the v neck of her dress. He raised his hands in defense and just grinned. "What? You can't blame a bloke for his wandering eyes when you're wearing a dress as stunning as that." he said charmingly.

Sookie poked her head out from behind the fridge door. "You do look great Ror!"

Rory smiled. "Thank you." she said before sending Finn another look. "And  _you_ , get out of the kitchen."

Finn pouted, and Rory realized she had actually missed him the past five years. As annoying as he had been at times, he had become a good friend to her before everything had happened. "But doll…" he protested. "Sookie needs a taste tester. I'm only doing what I can to help out."

Rory rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling at his argument.

Sookie shut the fridge and dumped the contents she had retrieved from it on the counter. "Well maybe not a taste tester but I sure don't mind listening to that voice of his while I'm working."

"See, kitten!" Finn grinned and opened his mouth as Sookie fed him a cucumber covered in a cream cheese spread. "A mutually satisfying relationship."

Rory just shook her head in disbelief at how easily Finn could charm everyone and after letting Sookie know she was doing a marvelous job and to let her know if she needed anything, left the kitchen and made her way back towards the heart of the party.

* * *

 

"Well, that wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be." Paris said as her and Rory made the rounds for the final time that night.

"You mean the toast Mike made to you, or the party in general?" Rory asked stumbling slightly before regaining her step. Perhaps she shouldn't have had that last glass of champagne. Or the last three, she chuckled to herself.

"Oh he'll get it when he gets home for kissing me in front of all of those people." Paris muttered before putting on a fake smile and waving goodbye to her cousins, telling them she'd see them in a few weeks at the wedding.

Rory smiled as she pictured the moment again. Mike standing up in the middle of dinner and making a toast to the woman he said saved his life. A speech that had Rory, as well as the majority of the woman and she suspected a few of the men even, tearing up. "It was perfect, Paris. You definitely are a lucky woman."

Paris smiled despite herself. "Well I definitely earned it. I think I did a good job whipping him into shape."

Rory laughed and then excused herself to use the bathroom before she headed home. She looked herself over in the mirror as she washed her hands and bit at her lip realizing just how flushed she looked. Nope, she definitely wasn't going to be driving home tonight, she thought as she unclipped her hair and let it fall down her to her shoulders since most had fallen out already anyways and made her way to the door to grab her purse and let Paris know she was leaving.

After a quick argument on having the private driver take her home, Rory hugged her friend goodbye and exited the house. Most of the guests had already left as well as the staff and the cleaning crew had begun to sweep through the house already. All in all it turned out to be a pretty good night, Rory decided as she slowly made her way down to the end of the drive, enjoying the fresh air and the moonlit sidewalk.

She felt her phone buzz in her purse and after seeing it was her grandmother, who she thankfully had managed to avoid for the rest of the night, she turned it off and tucked it away.

Now that was a miracle all it's own, Rory mused, and then realized she had gotten so caught up in the nights events that she hadn't even realized she hadn't seen Tristan either. Did he leave early? She wondered as she finally made it to the main drag and waited patiently under the street lamp by the bus stop for a taxi to drive by.

A few minutes without a taxi in sight had her reaching for her phone to order one. "Yes, I'm on the corner of Brockport and ninth…" she said and then trailed off as the familiar purr of a bike stopped next to her. "Ten minutes?" she repeated quietly. "Okay, thank you."

She slowly put her phone away, her eyes not leaving Tristan's as he pulled to the curb and removed his helmet, looking so odd sitting on his bike dressed in a suit. And now wearing the jacket, she noticed, trying to tell herself not to stare but she was far too gone to care.

"Hey."

Rory ran a tongue along her suddenly dry lips. "Hi."

Tristan looked around and ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you wait at the house for the cab?"

Rory shrugged, swinging her arms around. "I wanted to walk."

Tristan watched her for a moment in silence before a grin tugged at his lips. "You're sloshed, Mary."

Rory just shrugged in response and turned the other way to wait for the cab. If she kept looking at him, she might do something stupid. Like walk over to him and grab him by the tie and kiss that grin right off his face.

Oh god, her eyes widened as she sobered up at the thought, becoming very aware that he was only ten feet away from her and her body began to buzz that the familiar feeling of want.

"You want a ride?"

Rory spared him a glance, keeping her face impassive even as her heart started to be faster. "No, thank you." she said, holding her arms closer as she started to feel the bite of the night air against her skin.

"There used to be a time you would jump on the back of my bike, no questions asked." Tristan kept his eyes on hers, a small smirk playing on his lips as he rested his elbows on the handles of his bike.

"And that time has long passed."

Tristan just grinned more. "Not into bikes anymore?" His blue eyes glowed in the night, never moving from her.

Rory bit at her lip. There wasn't anywhere in the world she felt more at peace then on the back of a bike, but she wasn't about to tell him that. "Did you enjoy the party?"

Tristan sat back for a second before swinging a leg over the back of the bike and walking over to her. "Yeah, it was definitely my scene." he said sarcastically, as he shrugged off his jacket and stopped her before she could protest what he was doing. "You don't have to accept the ride but at least don't be stupid and not take my jacket. You're cold."

Rory reluctantly allowed him to put the jacket over her shoulders, feeling an instant warmth as the smell she remembered so well enveloped her. "Thanks." her voice was quiet, her head no longer feeling as fuzzy as the awareness of just how close he was standing settled in.

Tristan drove his hands deep into his pockets and glanced down the street before meeting her eyes again. "Mind if I wait with you? You look amazing in that dress and I know I'm not the only one who will think so. You shouldn't be waiting here alone."

Rory ignored the way her heart leapt at his comment and tore her eyes away from his for a moment to regain her bearings. "So… you're the new best man." she said, hating the way it was obvious her throat was dry. He was standing too close, being too nice. For a moment she actually wished he would be the arrogant asshole she knew before because fighting with him would be so much more easier than being civil.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Tristan asked simply, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Would it make a difference if I said it did?" she asked honestly, now turning to face him fully. Watching his face for any sign of what he was feeling, what he was thinking.

Tristan shrugged. "Honestly, no." he said seriously and she narrowed her eyes. "This isn't about us. This is about Mike and I. He didn't think I would be out in time for the wedding so Finn was going to take my place but now that I am out, I'm going to make good on being there for him."

Rory just nodded and turned away, shrugging his coat off and handing it back to him as she saw the taxi start down the street.

"Keep it." Tristan offered but she insisted he take it back and he did reluctantly as the taxi stopped in front of them.

"Thank you for… waiting with me. And harassing me at a bus stop once again." She added as an after thought, trying to break the tension and sent him a small smile.

Tristan laughed, running a hand through his hair. "This time wasn't as bad though."

Rory shook her head. "I suppose." she opened the taxi door and stepped down off the curb to get in but turned as Tristan spoke again.

"Last chance to hop on my bike."

Rory shook her head, her smile growing. "I would say yes but I'm wearing a dress so…"

Tristan's eyes darkened, a corner of his mouth curving upward. "Never stopped you before."

Rory felt her cheeks heat up and quickly looked away before sparing him a final glance. "Goodnight, Tristan."

He watched her for a moment before taking a step back. "Goodnight, Rory." he said before heading to his bike.

Rory couldn't help but turn in her seat as the driver started driving away and watch him as the engine roared to life and with one last look at the fading cab, sped away in the opposite direction.

She slumped into the back seat with a sigh and quickly looked away after catching the drivers eye in the rearview mirror.

It was just attraction, she told herself, pushing away all thoughts that there was still something else there and closed her eyes as the cab made it's trek back to New Haven.

Attraction. Nothing more.


	4. Your Arms Feel Like Home

_This life ain't the fairy tale we both thought it would be  
But I can see your smiling face as it's staring back at me_

_-3 Doors Down, Your Arms Feel Like Home_

* * *

"I cannot believe you are letting  _Gypsy_  mess with your car."

Rory groaned, coming to a stop at the end of the sidewalk and waiting for the light to tell her she could cross. She took the moment to pin her hair up in a knot. "I was in town visiting mom and Luke, you know that. Gypsy saw me trying to start the car, failing to do so even after Luke brought the jumper cables out, and offered to take it to her shop. How was I supposed to tell her no, and that I'd rather pay over a hundred bucks to get it towed to a mechanic three towns over than let her do it?"

She could almost hear Jess rolling his eyes on the other end of the line. "You could say, Hey Gypsy thanks for the offer but I need my car to actually  _work_ , and not just work for one day only to have it die on me again in the middle of nowhere. Even Taylor, who thinks that all town needs should stay with local business's, secretly drives his car to Hartford for his oil changes every few months with the excuse that he's visiting the art museum."

Rory chuckled, crossing the street quickly when the sign blinked and turned to jog the last two blocks to Paris's building. "She said it will be done on Monday. From there, I'll take it to my normal mechanic and have him look it over for me too, just to make sure everything is good. Are you and Gypsy ever going to get along? I remember a time when it was Taylor who was your arch enemy. Now you know what he does when he goes out of town."

"After we joined forces to terrorize Luke we formed a special bond." Jess grinned. "And Taylor didn't  _accidentally_  sell my car he was supposed to be fixing because his new mechanic  _accidentally_  parked it in the sell lot and then swear he thought it was one of  _his_  cars even though he seen me driving it every day."

Rory tried not to laugh at the memory of the incident and the screaming match between the two that ensued that had the whole town coming out to watch. "You didn't even like that car anyways and she gave you the money that she got from selling it."

"But my entire record collection was in the trunk because I hadn't had a chance to move it into the new house yet. Whoever, and I say  _whoever_  because Gypsy to this day still claims she never took down the buyers name, probably didn't even know who half the bands were and tossed them when they found them." Jess made an exaggerated pained noise. "It hurts me just thinking about it."

Rory grinned as she grabbed a dollar out of her pocket to place in the guitar case of a street musician playing on the sidewalk as she passed. "My mothers dramatics have rubbed off on you."

"Ha ha." Jess replied before cursing when a loud crash was heard in the background. "Oh, shit. Hang on."

Rory stopped walking when the line went silent. "Is everything okay? Jess?"

"Come see Dad, bud, it's okay. You're okay." she heard Jess cursing under his breath for a moment before he spoke into the phone again. "Before Christie left this morning, she specifically told me that under no circumstance was I to give Junior the baseball that Morie bought for him."

"Tell me that crash wasn't what I think it was." her hesitant question was muffled from behind her fingers where she was attempting to cover the laughter threatening to spill out.

"Well the good news is the ball went right through that wonderful drum set you bought him so I'll have to throw that out. What a shame." Jess tried to sound optimistic.

Rory shook her head. She'd just buy him a trumpet next. "And the bad news?"

"Bad news is that on it's journey to the drums, it had to go through a window first."

A chuckle slipped from her lips as she arrived in front of Paris and Mikes building. "Was it at least that little kitchen window you guys were going to be replacing anyways?"

"Oh no." Jess replied, and she could hear the dread in his voice. "Just that one window in the living room. That huge one we just put in. Yeah… It was nice knowing you Ror."

"Kiss JJ for me." Rory told him, shaking her head in amusement as she ended the call and slipped the phone in her pocket.

She walked up the stone path that led to the building and punched in Paris's apartment number, her eyes glancing around the lot while she waited for Paris to buzz her in and landing on a few familiar bikes parked a few feet away.

" _No, thank you." She turned and started to walk away. "I'll just catch the next one."_

_"Just get on the damn bike already."_

_Rory stopped and turned to look at him again. "I'm wearing a skirt," she replied lamely._

_He darted his tongue out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes traveled from her head to her feet. "I don't mind."_

_Rory glared._

_"Are you done making up excuses?" He asked, tossing her the helmet and she caught it automatically. "Just get on the bike."_

_She swallowed, her throat dry. He_ had  _waited for her to get out of school and was now offering her a ride home and she_ had _just missed her bus and would have to wait another hour for the next one so what would be so wrong with it? He should give her a ride anyways since he's the reason she was distracted and missed her bus to begin with. He stared at her with an expression that told her he already knew she was going to get on and then a slow, satisfied smile formed on his lips when she pulled the helmet hesitantly over her head and crossed the few feet to the bike. He threw a leg over and held out a hand to her._

This is it, Rory, your last chance to run,  _she told herself._

_Glancing at his hand, she pushed all anxiety away and reached her own out, sliding it into his and holding her skirt down with her other one, slid her own leg over the bike and sat behind him._

_"Hold on, Mary."_

"About time you showed up." Paris's agitated voice blew through the intercom but before Rory could respond, the door was beeping and opening for her. Sighing, she made her way through the lobby and headed for the elevator that would take her to the sixth floor.

Paris already had her door open and waiting for her as she stepped off the elevator. "It's the day the cab companies are protesting remember? That little thing that's been on the front page of the paper all week? Refusing to run for 24 hours?" Rory reminded as she walked to the door, knowing she was extremely late. "And my car's in the shop so I had to walk. I even  _jogged_  some of the way, and it was  _horrible_ , so I'm going to need you to give me…" her request was cut off as Paris grabbed her hand and pulled her into the apartment and straight to her bedroom. "Hey, I really am sorry I'm late…"

"Late.  _Late_! Everyone's late! Though I wish I was the kind of late you are. But I'm not." Paris cut her apology off. "Of all the times for this to happen it happens now.  _Now_!"

Rory leaned back against the dresser and watched as her best friend paced back and forth throughout the room. After a minute she finally found her voice. "Paris, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I thought it was stress. Of course I'm stressed right now. I'm getting married. Stress makes you late. It's a scientific fact. And I kept very good track because I panned the wedding and honeymoon all around this because who wants to be menstruating when they're on their honeymoon?" Paris rambled and then stopped and faced Rory, her chest heaving. "I took a test and it was positive. So I took another one and it was positive too. But you never know there could have been two faulty tests and the one had a really faint line so I took them up and asked the pharmacist for a second opinion. And does he give me one? No. He just kicks me out of the store. Whatever happened to the customer always being right? So what if I put the test on the counter. Even used, I bet my test was cleaner than half the people who have rested against that counter since it wasn't exactly the best part of town but I figured less chance of running into someone I know."

Rory walked over to the girl who was now wringing her hands together and placed her hands on her shoulders, meeting her eyes. "Have you told Mike?"

Paris shook her head. "I took the tests at the drug store so I wouldn't have to worry about him walking in or seeing the boxes. I just told him I wasn't feeling good and called my doctor. I left an urgent message with his nurse and I'm waiting for him to call me back and see if he can get me in today. As soon as he calls we're leaving." Paris told her, putting a hand to her stomach. "I didn't want to cancel because we have so much to go over for the wedding."

"This is way more important." Rory told her and then couldn't help the smile spreading across her face. "Paris, you're having a  _baby_."

Paris shook her head, her eyes narrowing. "The tests could have been wrong…"

"Paris…" Rory started and then was enveloped in a hug. Paris Gellar didn't hug. In fact, in the nearly nine years they'd been friends she could only recall hugging her twice. Either aliens had taken over the girls body, or it was definitely a side effect of the hormones.

Paris pulled back and ran her hands through her long blonde hair. "Now I'm thinking the couple times my stomach has been off the past week must have been morning sickness. What if it's bad on the day of the wedding? We're going to have to put it off."

"No we're not." Rory told her quickly. "You can carry a bucket instead of a bouquet."

Paris's eyes narrowed. "Funny, Gilmore." She said and Rory smiled as she seen the old Paris shining through. "If you hadn't been so late, I wouldn't have had all that time to work myself up. Damn college kids puking in cabs and causing the strike. I'll have Mike drop you off, before we head to the doctor."

Rory shook her head and linked her arm with Paris's and headed for the door. "Don't even worry about me. I'll find another way, or walk. Very slowly. Definitely no jogging this time." she muttered, feeling the ache in her calves. "I haven't had a work out like that in a while."

"What kind of work out are we talking about love?" Finn wiggled his eyebrows at her as they entered the living room and Rory chuckled and rolled her eyes at him, making her way to the couch and sitting between him and Paris.

She managed a whole thirty seconds before the feeling of his eyes on her got to her and she glanced across the coffee table where he was seated opposite her. He was back to looking like his usual self today, no more suit. Just the boots, jeans and usual white shirt.

And the image of him had her breath catching in her throat. Noticing a familiar leather jacket hanging over the back of the couch had her pulse quickening.

When her eyes met his, a small smile made its way to his lips and he nodded his head in greeting before looking away.

Her stomach dipped. She had actually thought she was going to be ready for this? Yeah,  _right_.

She really hoped Paris's doctor called soon.

* * *

"First Mike will go down the aisle himself, followed by my mother and then his parents. Then Damien," Paris motioned to a guy Rory had met a couple times years ago from Tristan's group of  _friends_  and was now one of Mike's groomsmen. "…you and Madeline will walk down the aisle, followed by Finn and Louise." Paris picked up her phone to check it then set it down after seeing she hadn't somehow missed a call. "Then the Maid of Honor and Best Man will go. Rory, DuGrey."

Rory's eyes met Tristan's for a brief second before looking away. Not that she had to look at him to know his eyes had been on her. She had already felt them. And knew he was probably thinking the same thing she was. Him and her, walking arm in arm down the aisle.

That was the only thing she was dreading. She could handle everything else. In fact, it wasn't even that bad being around him, sitting just feet from him. Instead of painful silence and awkwardness, she felt fine. Except for the fact that her body seemed to catch fire every time she felt his eyes on her. Or the way her heart started to beat a little faster when blue met blue.  _What the heck is wrong with you Rory?_  She asked herself.  _You're not some inexperienced teenager with a crush._

It must have been the dry spell she was going through getting to her. Perhaps she'd have to give Logan a call after all for a quick hookup to ease any tension out of her.

She glanced at Tristan again, and took the opportunity of his eyes being on Paris to watch him for a moment. Still the face she had memorized but somehow different. Her eyes traveled down to his lips, unwanted memories of the way they felt invading her thoughts. She watched him dart his tongue out slowly to wet them, and her stomach flipped, but when the corner of his lips slowly turned up she quickly looked away knowing she'd been caught. Even though his eyes had been on Paris, he'd known she was watching him. Maybe he could feel her eyes just like she could feel his.

At least she had that, she told herself. Perhaps she wasn't the only one affected.

She focused back on Paris and tried to ignore the feelings that were coursing through her. Yeah, Logan definitely wasn't going to help with  _this_  tension. She wasn't sure anyone could.

Well, anyone other than the person causing it and that was never going to happen.

"Then there will be a thirty second pause, the music will change and my father and I will walk to the front."

"Is there any way we could walk down the aisle to a song of our choice? Twist things up a bit?" Finn asked. "Perhaps some Right Said Fred or Rod Stewart for myself?" At Paris's look, Finn sat back into the couch. "Just a joke, love, just a joke."

Rory hid her smile and quickly changed the subject before Paris had the chance to rip into him. "We've had Madeline and Louise's dresses sent to them for fitting since their filming schedule doesn't allow them to make it back until they fly in the night before the wedding. The final fittings for the tux's and our dresses are next Wednesday. The shops are right next door to each other on first street. Is that going to be a problem for anyone?" Rory asked, glancing around and everyone shook their heads. "Good. Rehearsal dinner is still scheduled for the Friday evening before, and Madeline and Louise will be in in time for that so everything should go smoothly and we wont have any surprises on the main day."

Paris closed her notebook that she had everything detail written in and stood up from the couch, crossing her arms as she faced them. "I've seen the movies and have witnessed it first hand. Champagne is flowing, beer goggles and loneliness comes into play, and people start having the  _always in the wedding party, never my own wedding_ syndrome and feel like their time is ticking away. So I'm well aware what ends up happening between bridesmaids and groomsmen but save the shameless hookups for  _after_  the wedding and not the rehearsal dinner. I don't want any awkwardness for the ceremony. As soon as we say  _I do_ feel free to do what you want." Paris warned, looking specifically at Finn. "I'll let Louise know the same thing."

Finn feigned shock. "Paris, love, I would never put the moves on my good pals baby sister. I do have morals you know." Mike snorted in response and Finn just grinned. "Though I don't think it's just me you have to worry about."

Rory inwardly groaned as everyone's eyes turned to her. She could feel heat sliding up her neck and opened her mouth to speak before realizing what she was doing. "I don't know what you could possibly be insinuating, Finn. I have a date for the wedding."

If there was ever a time she wished a hole would appear and swallow her up, it was then. Finn and Mike, not so subtly, turned their eyes to Tristan, whose own eyes were on Rory, his face expressionless.

"You didn't tell me that." Paris's voice had Rory reluctantly dragging her eyes over to meet the girls standing next to her. She tried to send Paris a signal to play along but if Paris caught it, she ignored it. "Don't even tell me it's who I think it is." her voice dropped.

Rory stayed silent. "Huntzburger?" Mike offered.

Rory turned to glare at him. "And if it was?" she countered, hating that she told a lie to put an end to one thing but only ended up opening something else. She should have just ignored the looks and changed the subject but the second Finn had insinuated her and Tristan would be doing something more than what their Maid of Honor and Best Man duties required, her back had gone up.

Mike put his hands up in defense at her tone and sat back. "Just asking, Ror." he relented and then a grin broke out across his face. A grin that made her more than a little uneasy. "You remember Logan, right Tristan? From school?"

Rory's stomach dropped. She had never put together that Logan and Tristan were around the same age, meaning they had attended Chilton at the same time before Tristan had left. And never had Logan mentioned it because not only did he have no clue about her past relationship, but when they were together, talking generally was the last thing they did because it always made them remember that they really didn't like each other.

But what did she care? She tried to tell herself. Her and Tristan were long over and she had every right to have a relationship with whomever she wanted.

Tristan sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, still watching her. "Wouldn't peg him for your type."

Rory's eyes narrowed instantly and she sat up a bit straighter. She waited a beat before tipping her head to the side and sending him a fake smile. "Oh you know, blonde, no respect for authority and a disgustingly large ego that's really compensating for something…"

Mike almost dropped his glass and Finn hurriedly masked his laughter with a cough and jumped off the couch to grab a drink. Paris on the other hand didn't bother hiding her snort of amusement. Tristan's lips turned up, the amusement evident but a flash in his eyes showed her something she hadn't yet seen since he'd been back.

That the danger was very much still inside him.

And god help her if it didn't have her pulse racing.

She kept her eyes on his and when he didn't look away just raised an eyebrow challenging at him. His lips curved a little more and he brought a hand up to run through his short hair before sending her a look that that would have made a nuns toes curl.

"Well, as great as this conversation is…" Mike started but was cut off as Paris's phone rang. The blonde quickly grabbed it and walked out of the room.

Rory took a deep breath and stood up, walking over to the sink to rinse her glass and set it in the dish washer. "That's probably the doctor so you guys will be leaving." she said just to break the silence.

Mike walked over and grabbed his keys. "Yeah. Paris said your car was in the shop. Do you need a ride? We can swing by your place first."

Rory sent him a small smile, thankful that he thought of her as well, and shook her head. "No, I told Paris the same thing. Just go do what you guys have to do, I'll find a way home."

A few seconds later Paris was exiting the bedroom and heading for the door. "Okay everyone, we'll text you a reminder about the fittings. Rory can you lock the when you leave?" Paris's voice drifted from the hall and didn't even wait for a response, Mike quickly following.

 _Will do_ , Rory thought, a smile covering her face in anticipation for the call later where Paris confirmed the results. Paris Gellar was having a baby, she thought. Out of all of them she was going to be the first married and the first mommy. Who would have thought?

She waved a hand as Finn called out a goodbye and grabbed the remaining cups left on the coffee table and brought them to the dishwasher. After a quick scan of the main room and making sure no one was in the bathroom, Rory flipped the lock and shut the door behind her, heading for the elevator.

She heard a beep and looked up to see the door to the elevator sliding shut. "Hey! Hold the…" she said quickly, sprinting to the doors, not sure who was already in it but when a hand came and made the doors whoosh back open, she instantly regretted not just waiting until it came back up. "…door. Thanks." she mumbled as she stepped into the elevator and stood on the side opposite Tristan and Damien who was busy looking at something on his phone.

"No problem." Tristan said, and hit the button for the main floor before leaning back against the wall.

She couldn't help but notice the way the muscles in his arms moved as he slid his hands into his pockets, not having put on his jacket yet. Or the fact that being in an elevator with him for the first time in five years brought back things she hadn't thought about in a very long time.

" _Why are you so possessive?"_

_Tristan quickly pulled her into the empty compartment as soon as the doors to the elevator slid open and hit a button on the panel. As soon as the doors closed he turned to her, pining her against the wall, raising her hands above her head and holding them there gently, a smirk covering his face. Her heart raced the second he pressed his body against hers and as she stood there unable to move, his lips descended to hers. His tongue darting out instantly making her knees go weak._

_"Possessive?" he asked as he nipped at her lips, teasing her._

_Despite her racing heart and the intense need to touch him she glared, "Yes. Possessive." She repeated. "I believe Finn was only going to hug me. You know, a friendly gesture. Not trying to do anything else."_

_He only shook his head, and hit another button, causing the elevator to come to a complete stop. "You're_ my _girl." He whispered, his breath tickling her neck as his lips moved there, trailing kisses down to her collar and back up again. "No one else's, so why should anyone else touch you?" His lips moved against hers again, one hand still holding hers above her head as his other one ran slowly from her shoulder to her stomach. "You're mine, baby," Tristan whispered as she kissed him back as greedily as he was kissing her. His words had her head spinning and she couldn't get enough. "And I'm yours." His hands roamed down her body and ended on her thighs, lifting her easily and she automatically wrapped her legs around him "Only yours." He whispered, bringing his eyes up and locking them with hers before resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes._

"Rory?"

Rory glanced up at her name and realized the elevator had come to a stop. Without meeting Tristan's eyes she quickly exited it and headed for the main doors to the building.

"Hey, wait up." Tristan jogged after her and grabbed the door to pull it open and hold it before she could do it herself.

Quirking and eyebrow at him, she muttered a thanks and took a deep breath of the fresh air outside, pushing away the memories that had surfaced in the elevator.

"You look a bit flushed, kitten." Finn looked over at her from his position on his bike, and winked.

"Did I hear Mike saying you needed a ride home?"

Rory turned and met Tristan's eyes. He had shrugged his jacket on and was leaning against the building, watching her.

"I'm just going to walk." She could hear her feet crying in protest even as she said it.

A knowing smile appeared on Tristan's lips and a familiar spark of mischief made its way into his eyes. "You're not afraid to get on a bike, are you, Mary?"

Rory glared. There was no way he was going to goad her into this. If he wanted to play games, she could too. "Not at all." she shrugged and turned to the Australian who was adjusting his helmet. "Finn? Would you give me a ride home please?" she asked, turning to send a smile at Tristan.

Finns eyes widened and darted to Tristan for a moment before meeting hers again. "Ah Doll, you know I would love to but I ah, have somewhere I need to be."

Rory rolled her eyes. He could not be serious. "Finn…"

"Oh look at the time." Finn cut her off quickly. "Later lads. Rory."

Rory took a slow, deep breath and ignoring Tristan's smirk that she didn't have to see to know was spread across his face, turned to Damien. "And you?"

He froze. "Umm… no hablo ingles."

Rory's jaw dropped. "You cannot be serious. I just heard you speaking English for the last hour." She told him and his face flushed. She sent a look to the man standing behind her when she heard a chuckle. "So this is how it's going to be? You're all just going to let him intimidate you?" she asked, looking from Finn to Damien.

"Ah… hasta la vista."

Rory bit at her lip and tried not to laugh at the absolute ridiculousness of Damiens comment and watched him as he avoided eye contact and hopped on his bike and drove away. Finn, who was turning purple trying not to laugh himself, followed quickly behind him, letting out a howl as he sped down the street.

The laughter bubbled out then. She told herself to be mad, to be irritated, but she just let herself laugh it out and when she finally managed to stop, she turned amused eyes to the only man left.

"I didn't say a word to them." Tristan held his hands up, defensively, his own eyes dancing. "He's a big fan of Arnold apparently."

Rory, still smiling, just shook her head. "Mmhmm." With one last look she started down the path to the road.

"Let me give you a ride."

She stopped and turned, met his eyes and shook her head. "I'll walk."

"Come on, Mary." Tristan grinned, and the way he said the nickname had goosebumps covering her skin. "Get on the bike."

A shiver went up her spine at the words. Not only from a memory but from the urge she felt now, even as an adult, to just do it. To feel the air rushing against her again. To feel free.

"I don't live in Stars Hollow anymore and  _have_  to have you give me a ride because it's my only option." she told him. Knowing there was a smile on her lips but not knowing how they had fell into this flirting so easily. Or why she was allowing it. Continuing it.

"Really?" he crossed to his bike and grabbed the spare helmet. "I seem to remember things a bit different. There was the bus, that you half heartedly insisted for a moment you were going to wait for. There was also your friends who could have driven you home. You had options, but as much as you probably try to deny it, it really didn't take that much  _convincing_ for you to let me give you a ride home that very first time."

Rory pursed her lips and shrugged casually. "Well, you know, every girl is entitled to a bad boy phase."

Tristan dropped his head, his chest vibrating with laugher. When he looked up and met her eyes again, they were brighter than she'd seen them yet. "Oh yeah? Is that what that was?" he asked, stepping towards her. "Any chance for a relapse?"

Rory crossed her arms at the closeness but didn't break their stare. "Not on your life."

He shrugged and held out the helmet. "Last chance, Rory."

She turned to walk away, but couldn't take the first step. It was one ride, that was all. No strings, no hidden meaning. Just a ride home.

She didn't meet his eyes as she told him her address, then turned and grabbed the helmet, making sure to put it on before he could see her face. She the excitement that was sure to be written all over it. He put his own helmet on and straddled the bike, holding out a hand for her but she put her hand on his shoulder instead as she threw her own leg over and sat behind him.

Her adrenaline was pumping as he started the bike and revved it up and she scooted forward, fitting her body to his, tightening her legs and setting her hands on the leather at his waist.

And then they were taking off.

She didn't know just how much she had missed it until that moment. She thought she knew, but the instant feeling of freedom she felt as he sped away eased every muscle in her body, every worry in her head.

She had missed this so much.

It ended too quickly, and she seen him pulling up outside her building and panicked, not wanting it to be over yet and before she realized what she was doing she was tapping his shoulder and waiting for him to turn towards her.

"Tristan." she breathed, her words sounding breathy as her heart felt as if it would pound right out of her chest. "Keep driving."

_To Be Continued…_

* * *

 

_I know we both see these changes now  
I know we both understand somehow_


	5. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Words cannot explain how absolutely nervous I am to post this chapter! I don't think I've ever been more nervous to share something in my entire life. But, here it is. I went through my computer and my file for chapter 4 tells me that it was last modified in February of 2014. Has it really been that long?! Writing this was so hard for me. I'm not the biggest fan of Gilmore Girls anymore - and the revival killed what little bit of love I had left. It was so hard getting back into the groove of writing these characters - even though I still love this version of them - and I had a half written chapter done for a long time but the rest of it just wasn't working. So, last night, I deleted it all and started fresh. Seven hours of writing later and a determination that kept me up til 1am because I refused to shut the file until it was finished - and I had this. So, I'm not sure how great it will be, but finally - here's a new chapter. Thank you all who helped with the plagiarism issue a few months ago. That turned out to be a much bigger mess than I ever thought, but it actually got me into writing again and for that I am so very thankful. Some of you know I've been writing for Riverdale, and I also started my own RT rewrite of the revival. And now a new chapter of this. I'm truly hoping I can get another one out relatively soon, but if you know me, you know I've always been a bit all over the place with updates. But I always come back... haha.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy it, and another HUGE thank you to everyone who has read this story. Your words mean the world to me, and you have no idea how thankful I am for you.
> 
> Also a couple quick warnings for this chapter: italics are flashbacks. Also, it hasn't been edited (my spelling and grammar has hopefully improved a little bit over the years though) and also there's smut, so know that going in just so it doesn't jump out at you.
> 
> Thank you again,
> 
> SO much love to all of you.
> 
> -Kellie

* * *

 

_Loving you was young, and wild, and free_

_Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet_

_Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound_

_A steady place to let down my defenses_

_-Camila Cabello, Consequences_

* * *

  


The last time she’d been on his bike, arms wrapped tightly around him and speeding off without a care in the world, was five years ago. They had been on their way to dinner at some hole in the wall diner where no one knew them and they could just eat and talk without people staring at him in fear or judging her for being with him.

 

She still remembered that night like it was yesterday.

 

 _Rory glanced up at the stars as Tristan sped down the highway, neither of them wanting to go home yet and instead wanted to enjoy one of the last nights of good weather they would have before the snow started to fall. She loved winter, the magic of it, but she missed riding. She had become just as addicted to being on a bike just as he had, and the winters seemed to last forever as they patiently awaited the time when they would get to_ fly _again._

 

_They talked about moving south a lot, somewhere where they could ride all year long. When school was becoming too much, they’d lay awake and talk about her taking a break from college, packing up the essentials and just leaving. Going wherever the road would take them, one big adventure._

 

_At times, it was tempting._

 

_There was no place she loved more than being on the back of his bike, her chest to his back, her arms around him as he wove through traffic._

 

_It was home._

 

_Home, Rory thought, looking around and realizing they were a ways away from their apartment now but her body didn’t seem to realize that. She moved forward, pressing herself harder into him, her hands slipping under his jacket and finding the hot skin beneath. She felt his muscles contract under her touch and a smile touched her lips._

 

_Tristan slowed at a stop light and turned his head, meeting her eye and his own heated from whatever he saw in hers. Turning back around, he moved to the next lane, taking a right when the light turned green, and leading them away from town, away from civilization, and Rory knew why. Her excitement began to build._

 

_The start of her semester had kept her busy and Tristan was working almost non stop to the point that they hadn’t had much time for each other in almost two weeks and they were both feeling it. Tonight was their first free night to just get away, and as nice as dinner and a bike ride had been - they both needed something else._

 

_Tristan lowered his speed as they passed through a speed zone and Rory took the opportunity to move her hands lower, playing with the waistband of his jeans before dipping her fingers underneath it._

 

_She couldn’t hear him moan over the purr of the bike, but she felt the vibration of it against her chest and moved her hand lower._

 

_He sped up then, turning down a deserted road and pulling into a small abandoned parking lot of a gas station that looked like it hadn’t been open in years._

 

_They were off the bike in a second, the thrill of being out in the open making Rory’s heart beat even faster as Tristan grabbed her hand, pulling her behind the building and instantly pressing her into it._

 

_“It’s not nice to tease me when I can’t do anything about it, baby.” Tristan’s mouth found her ear and gave it a tug as his hands moved up her shirt and covered her breasts, kneading gently._

 

_“You love it,” Rory grinned against his lips when they met hers._

 

 _He pulled back for a moment, his hands stilling and his eyes meeting hers, the blue so vivid even in the dark night, swirling with so much emotion. “I love_ you. _”_

 

She could still hear his voice as he said it, so sure, so honest. He didn’t say it much, he was more of one to _show_ it, so in the times when the words slipped past his lips, they meant so much more.

 

It had been one of their happiest moments that night. Coming together behind the gas station and then barely making it home before they were doing it all again.

 

It was a memory she thought she’d always cherish, but one that she hated now. Hated how perfect that night had been, how great their life had been, and how he went and ruined it by walking out on her and getting arrested just a few days later.

 

But most of all, as her hands rested loosely on the outside of his jacket, she hated the instinctive feeling she felt to move her hands to feel the hot skin beneath it again. His body was different now, larger, even more toned than it had been years ago. She wondered how it would feel now, under her hands, against her body, and that was something she really should not be thinking about while riding on the back of her ex boyfriends motorcycle after telling him to keep driving when he was only supposed to be giving her a ride home.

 

But she couldn’t deny how perfect her body still fit into his, how comfortable it was to be riding with him after all these years. How _right_ it was.

 

Tristan turned to her when he stopped at a red light, his blazing eyes finding hers and she wondered if he was thinking the same things she had been.

 

“You hungry?”

 

She could only nod, the look in his eyes setting her body on fire. He looked hungry too, but she wasn’t sure whatever diner he stopped at would sate the need had darkened his eyes.

 

Did he feel it too? Was having her holding onto him affecting him just like it was her?

 

Rory smirked at the thought, happy that maybe she wasn’t the only one being tortured, and pressed her body closer, laying her head against his back. She felt him tense for a moment before relaxing as he continued down the road.

 

She stumbled a bit when she’d stepped off the bike, and she blamed it on having not been on one in so long, definitely not because she was feeling drowsy with want. Nope, definitely not that.

 

Tristan grabbed her hand to help her regain her balance, and she looked up, meeting his amused eyes. He looked away as the corner of his lips turned up, as if to hide that he was smirking, and she rolled her eyes, straightening her coat as she started towards the diner he’d found.

 

When she didn’t hear his footsteps behind her, she stopped on the bottom stair leading up to the door and send him a pointed look.

 

He was still standing in the spot she’d left him, hands deep in his pockets, eyes on her.

 

She refused to acknowledge the look, a look no amount of time would make her forget. A look that shot straight to her core. She feigned annoyance, cocking an eyebrow at him questioningly.  “Are you coming?”

 

He grinned then, the movement sliding over his face and lighting his eyes. “Just enjoying the view.”

 

Rory’s heart pounded. Biting back a smile, she turned and made her way up the last few steps and to the door, making sure to exaggerate the sway of her hips she did so. His chuckle floating up to her let her know that he’d definitely noticed he efforts.  

 

Somewhere deep down, a voice told her she was playing a dangerous game, but she knew her limits. Flirting always came easy with them, but that’s all it would be. She wasn’t the same girl she was then. She had the power to resist him, no matter how charming he tried to be.

 

But damn if he somehow hadn’t gotten even more charming than she remembered, she realized when he stopped at a table in the far corner and held a chair out for her. Rory muttered a thanks and slid into it, sliding close to the table and clearing her suddenly dry throat as he took the spot across from her.

 

He was dangerous, in more ways than one, but at the top of that list sat the painful reminder that he had shattered her heart into pieces. And she would never allow that to happen again.

 

They didn’t speak when the waitress came over and took their order, or for a few moments after. Rory focused her attention on everything but looking at him, even as she felt his eyes on her, burning into her, sending flames dancing over her skin and making her yearn to feel if his touch could still do the same.

 

She had no doubt it could. She had seen how her body had reacted when he’d caught her hand outside.

 

“So,” she cleared her throat, finally finding the courage to meet his gaze. “What have you been up to?”

 

Tristan moved his shoulders in a casual shrug, sitting back in his chair and spreading his legs out under their small table. His knee hit hers and she quickly pulled hers away, crossing it over her other one. He chuckled, bringing a hand up to run a thumb slowly over his bottom lip and Rory couldn’t look away from the movement. When her eyes met his again, she didn’t bother being embarrassed, and just sent him a look, letting him know she was waiting for an answer.

 

“A lot of catching up, helping Mike with the wedding stuff, working.” His voice was deep, smooth, and it washed over her in waves. She wanted to close her eyes and just listen to him talk forever. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed his voice. How hearing it now so much after not hearing it for five years was messing with her head.

 

“Wedding stuff definitely has a way taking over your life,” Rory chuckled, though it was quickly followed by a sigh. “I’m ecstatic for Paris and Mike, and more than happy to help, but I never realized just how _much_ goes into it.”

 

Their food arrived and they both started eating, Rory just a bit too eagerly but she blamed it on that dreaded jog to Paris’s house that morning. Her body wasn’t used to the exercise and she was hungrier than she ever remembered being.

 

“Not gonna lie,” Tristan started when he finished off his fries. “I didn’t realize just what I was agreeing to either. But I’d do anything for Mike so I’m not gonna complain.”

 

Rory took a sip of her coffee, watching him over her cup, wanting to ask why he felt so indebted to Mike but figured if he wanted her know, he’d tell her. Her eyes moved from his face to scan the rest of him. He’d taken off his jacket, leaving him in just his shirt and she watched as the muscles flexed beneath it, memories of how those arms felt wrapped around her worming their way into their thoughts.

 

She decided to just give up and let them come. There was no denying the physical attraction was still there, she would just have to live with it. Even if it killed her.

 

Food. She tried to focus on her food instead. Reaching for her fries, she grabbed a couple and popped them in her mouth, chewing them longer than necessary before speaking again. “Are you excited for the bachelor party?” she asked, licking a bit of ketchup off her thumb and then stilling when she saw his eyes on her, watching the movement. Heat touched her cheeks and she slowly lowered her hand, but he didn’t look away from her lips.

 

Her heart was pounding, the air around them filled with tension. Did anyone else notice it? Did they feel it? How could they not? Her body was pulsing with it.

 

“Tristan,” his name whispered through her lips and seemed to break him out of whatever spell he was under. His eyes flew to hers as he sat back, bringing a hand up to run through his hair, tugging at it. He lifted his cup, downing the rest of his coffee quickly, not seeming to care that it was still hot, before clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at her.

 

“Bachelor party is still up in the air.”

 

Rory’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she reached for her own cup, gently blowing away the steam before sipping at it. “What are you talking about? It was planned months ago, a weekend in New York City.”

 

His laugh lacked humor and she saw something flash in his eyes, something _dark_ , before he turned to look out the window to his left. “That was the plan, until _I_ came along. Mike refuses to have his party without his best man, and unfortunately for him, his best man can’t leave state due to being a fuck up on parole.”

 

Rory bit her lip as her hands tightened around her cup, wanting to reach over to him. Anyone else would think he sounded normal, maybe a bit angry, but she knew him. Knew the sound of the hurt he was trying to mask.

 

“Tristan,” Her voice was soft when she said his name, and his eyes found hers again. “Mike is so happy that you’re able to be involved at all. Paris has told me many times.” And she had, through clenched teeth. “So I’m sure he would gladly relocate his party if it means you’d get to be there.”

 

He was silent, and other than his eyes softening at her words, you wouldn’t know he had reacted at all.

 

They sat like that for a while, just watching each other. Every now and then, his eyes would stray from her eyes and fall to her lips, her hair, dance over her cheeks and down her neck, as if he were trying to compare the image of her now with the image he remembered.

 

Did he think about her? Did he ever think about reaching out to her? Did he try? Did he regret what he did? Did he miss her as much as she had missed him? She would never ask. She was afraid to. And she hated that.

 

“How long is your parole?”

 

“Five years.”

 

Rory blew out a breath. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you’re free from it’s constraints.”

 

She watched as his lips turned up, but he didn’t meet her eyes for a few moments. Instead, he focused on his empty plate, as if deciding his answer, before letting blue meet blue.

 

“That all depends.”

 

Rory’s breathing grew shallow. Her reply was hesitant. “On?”

 

“Where I’m at in life.” He told her, his eyes never leaving hers. “Who I’m _with_.”

 

Rory looked away, the idea of him being with someone at that time, filling her with something she had no right feeling.

 

“Five years is a long time,” was all she said.

 

Tristan chuckled. “Oh, you have _no_ idea.”

 

Once again, butterflies filled her belly and she had to look away when she felt heat touch her cheeks again at the insinuation of his words. What was wrong with her? She was an adult, a professional. How could he still have this affect on her?

 

And why did it seem like she had zero effect on him? He was so cool and calm, sitting there, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. And here she was, blushing, her heart pounding, memories of everything they’d ever done dancing through her head on a loop.

 

Remembered their very first time sitting in a diner talking to each other just like this.

 

_"What's your name?" she asked._

 

_He laughed. "I told you already, Mary, and I'm sure you've been told a lot about me so you probably already know my last name, too. Correct?"_

 

_Rory shrugged. "Yes," she answered honestly. "How old are you?"_

 

_"What is this, twenty questions?"_

 

_"You asked if I had any more, and seeing as though I'm letting you give me a ride home I should at least know a little about you," she stated as confidently._

 

_He nodded, his cold, dangerous eyes fixated on hers. "Twenty-one."_

 

_So he wasn't much older than her at all. "And you're in a…” she started hesitantly. “A gang?”_

 

_He smirked at her, his eyes taunting her. "Maybe."_

 

_She narrowed her eyes at him, but he only seemed to grow more amused. "Okay, another question." She debated what she wanted to ask next but when she saw more people staring at them, whispering behind their hands, she shifted uncomfortably. "Why are there people looking at us?"_

 

That very first time should have been a warning. She should have realized how notorious, how dangerous he was, and ran. She should have left then and not looked back, but she hadn’t. Instead she had been entranced by it, curious about the boy she saw lurking beneath the dangerous eyes, and fell for him. Hard. Trusted him, trusted that he’d changed. But in the end, he hadn’t.

She felt her anger build, and she wasn’t surprised when he sensed it.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Her eyes found his and narrowed. “What’s wrong?” she repeated, trying to take calming breaths but his eyes sparkled with amusement and only triggered her more. She laughed, the sound anything but nice. “What a loaded question.” she muttered to herself, grabbing her wallet and throwing a couple bills on the table before grabbing her jacket and making her way to the exit without another word.

 

She was acting irrational, she knew it, but couldn’t help it. It had been five years, five years of pain and missing him. Five years of trying her damndest to get over him. She thought she finally had, then he just waltzed into her life once again and everything had come flooding back. Every sweet memory, every bad one, every thing she had tried so hard to forget. It was consuming her, and while she tried to play nice, tried to hold up her end of the deal and keep things civil, years of build up was quickly making its way to the surface and threatening to boil over.

 

“Rory!” she heard him call her name but kept walking, turning down a side alley and heading toward the main street. Emma, her assistant, should be done with her classes by now and could hopefully swing by and get her. If not, she would walk. Even though she was even further from her place than she had been when they left Paris’s. There was no way she was getting on his bike again. She needed to stay away from him, _far_ away from him.

 

The thud of boots behind her had her quickening her pace but Tristan had already caught up to her, catching her arm and turning her to face him, his eyes searching hers instantly, as if he were confused as to why she had left. Why she was angry.

 

Her eyes narrowed as she ripped her arm from his hold. “Go home, Tristan. Or go wherever. Just get away from me.”

 

“What the fuck, Rory? What’s wrong?” His eyes widened as he searched hers.

 

Rory laughed. “You are what’s wrong!” she yelled and ignored the looks a couple passing by the alley sent down at them. “Everything was fine until you decided to just burst back into my life. Now everything is just…” she trailed off, emotion filling her and she closed her eyes to calm herself. When she opened them again and met his, the tortured look in them nearly broke her. “How can you be so cool about this? Like you didn’t destroy us?”

 

His chest rose and fell as he watched her, the seconds that passed felt like years and even though cars drove around them and the sounds of the city filled the air, right there in the alley, the silence was deafening.

 

“You asked me to. You asked me to forget the past. To start new.”

 

His words were quiet, simple, and Rory’s heart dropped. She had. She wanted to forget the past, so sure she would be able to and only worried that he wouldn’t, but it turned out she was the one not being able to let go.

 

She bit her lip, nearly drawing blood, as she shook her head. “Well, I wish forgetting was as easy for me as it is for you.”

 

His eyes instantly darkened at her words, his face turning to stone as he took a step toward her, glimpses of the man she once knew shining through. “You think I’ve forgotten _anything_ ?” he took another step, and then another until her back was against the building behind her and he towered over her. “All I did for the past five years was remember _every_ single little fucking thing.” His laugh sent a shiver up her spine. “Even now. Every day, Rory. It’s you.”

 

She forgot to breathe, his words, how close he was. All she had to do was move, just an inch, and her hands would be on him.

 

“Well, you had me fooled.” her voice was weak, quiet, barely audible over the pounding of her heart. His body being so close to hers was driving her insane.

 

His hand found the building next to her head, his fist clenching against the brick as he leaned down. “Is that so?” He voice had dropped a couple octaves and slid over her like velvet. “You don’t think that every second of being near and not touching you isn’t fucking killing me?” His face moved, barely an inch from hers. “Think I didn’t almost pull the bike over a couple dozen times on our way here because I couldn’t take feeling your body against mine? That I didn’t want to knock everything off our table in there and fuck you in front of everyone? That I haven’t wanted to do that every second that I’m with you since the second I saw you again?”

 

Rory was surprised she was still standing. That her knees hadn’t given out. That she hadn’t melted into a puddle right there in the alley.

 

His ragged breathing touched her lips, moved down her neck, sending flames licking over her already burning skin. She needed him, now more than she ever thought she’d needed him before. There was too much still there between them, so much left unfinished, and they were both fools if they thought they could just forget the past so easily.

 

They had always been electric.

 

Now they were explosive.

 

He didn’t move, and she knew he wouldn’t. If there was any quality that he excelled at, it was discipline and control.

 

He wouldn’t kiss her. She would have to make the first move.

 

So she did.

 

The second she moved forward and her lips met his, the thought that the back of his bike wasn’t home but _this_ was, _he_ was, floated into her head but she quickly pushed it away, letting herself get lost in the feel of his lips. They came together as if a day hadn’t passed, as if that day behind deserted gas station hadn’t been five years ago but just five days ago. As if they were still together, as if they still owned each other - heart, body, and soul.

 

His lips claimed her, taking what he wanted. His hand slid down her hip, catching the back of her knee and pulling it up to hook around his waist and then he was pulling her body hard into his, she gasped at the feel of him, hard between her legs, and then their tongues met, fighting for dominance. His lips teased hers, his tongue, his teeth, all while his fingers dug into her skin, burning her even through her clothes.

 

“God, Ror.” he whispered as he pulled back to catch his breath before diving in again and it was enough to have her coming undone. “Come home with me.”

 

His words squeezed her heart. Maybe he didn’t mean it, maybe they were just words, but he could have asked her to come back to his place, for them to find someplace secluded, but he didn’t. He asked her to come home.

 

Home.

 

God, she missed _home_ with him.

 

She found herself nodding, and then being pulled back down the alley and towards the diner where he’d parked his bike.

 

They’d put their helmets on quickly and without a word, only for Tristan to pull his off, and then reach for hers, sliding it off her head and gripping them both in one hand, his other one coming to her cheek and pulling her into him for a kiss, never flinching at the cat calls they received from passersby as he stole her breath yet again.

 

Her body pulsed with want, need, and something else that she refused to acknowledge as they flew through the city, heading toward his apartment - the one that he had lived in before they’d gotten one together in New Haven. One she hadn’t been to in years.

 

_"Where are we?" Rory asked hesitantly, looking around._

 

_Tristan walked towards the elevator that led out of the garage. "My place."_

 

_Rory raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Your place?"_

 

_Tristan smirked as he leaned against the side of the elevator to prevent it from closing. "That's what I said."_

 

_Rory watched him for a minute as he kept his eyes on hers, not looking away. "And what makes you think that I want to come up there?"_

 

_Tristan cocked an eyebrow at her. "Are you saying you don't?" he teased, his lips sliding into a smirk. "I think it's only fair," he told her, shrugging. "You see… you got to show me your room so it's only fair that I get to show you mine." His eyes found her lips and she watched as his tongue came out to wet his own._

 

_"Is that so?" Rory's heart flipped._

 

_"Mmhmm." Tristan nodded confidently. "Now would you mind getting your little ass in here so we can be on our way? We are on a time limit to get you home, remember?”_

 

They’d managed to keep their hands off of each other until they got into the elevator, Tristan stabbing at the floor number quickly before she was in his arms again and his hands were all over her.

 

_Everywhere._

 

Rory gasped when his palms moved from her hips to her ass, lifting her, her legs automatically circling his waist and then he was pressing into her.

 

He was so hard and ready as he continued to press into her, teasing her, the friction of their jeans driving them both insane. It was too much and not enough, all at once. Her hands found his hair, tugging at it with every thrust he tortured her with, her lips biting at his, then soothing the sting with her tongue.

 

They didn’t even notice when the elevator stopped, and it wasn’t until the door chimes, signaling it was sliding shut again that they both turned to it, Tristan holding out a hand to stop it, his other hand still holding her to him and then he was carrying her down the hall.

 

She laughed when they bumped into a wall, and felt his grin against her lips before she moved to his neck, gently sucking at the sensitive flesh in order to let him pay attention to where he was taking her but her actions seemed to distract him even more and had him stumbling, his fingers digging into her ass as he let out a moan of his own.

 

Her hands ran over the leather of his jacket, amazed at the memories the feel of single piece of clothing was bringing back.

 

_"It's not that bad."_

 

_Rory sent him a look before reaching for the closest thing she could find, his leather jacket, and slid her arms into it. She stood up, wrapping it around her body._

 

_"Well, it's very homey." She remarked as she walked over to the dust-covered desk._

 

_When he didn't say anything, she looked back to find his gaze on her, moving over her body and she realized how she must look in nothing but his jacket._

 

 _"Rory." His voice was strained as he met her eyes. "If you wear that, and only that, like you are now, for the rest of your life… I will do_ anything _." He spoke the words so seriously that she couldn't help but grin, her nerves fading as she walked over to him and stood beside the cot, putting one knee on it for balance._

 

_"You really like it?" she asked innocently, surprising herself at the seductive grin that spread over her face as she let the coat fall open._

 

_Tristan's black trailed over her body before they shot up to hers and he nodded, grabbing her and pulling her down underneath him._

 

The sound of keys brought her back to reality, though she was surprised she had even heard them over their labored breathing. Then the creak of a door filled her ears for a moment before it slammed shut and she was being turned and shoved against it.

 

His large, hard hands dove under her shirt, racing up to cup her over her bra and she thought for sure that she was going to burn up.

 

As if reading her mind, he gently lowered her feet to the floor and then they were a tangle of arms and hands as they undressed. Themselves, each other, pulling at clothes wherever their hands landed. The sound of something tearing filled the apartment but she didn’t care. Clothes could be replaced and nothing else mattered other than his hands on her, over her, in her.

 

It was like no time had passed. His mouth and hands moved over her body, knowing it so well and she gladly explored the new hard lines of his. His muscles flexed under her hands as he lifted her again, and she teased his lips as his hands kneaded the backs of her thighs, his fingers so close to where she needed them as he carried her to the table and set her on it.

 

He pulled away then, and she sat back, her palms resting on the table behind her as he took a step away from her, letting his eyes drag over her. Most of her clothes were gone, leaving her in just her bra and panties, neither of which were anything special but the look in his eyes made her feel as if she were the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

Five years had changed her body. She’d started having to watch what she ate as her metabolism slowed, her skin required regimens to stay soft and she knew that she was just as different as him. But he looked at her they same way he always had, and a pain made its way to her chest at the realization.

 

She sat up straighter, moving her hands around her back to unclasp her bra and then slowly slid it off of her shoulders, his eyes watching the movement closely, before she tossed it to the side and then met his eyes boldly.

 

“Are you just going to look?”

 

She was surprised she was able to speak. She could barely draw her own eyes away from his body. It was larger, harder, beautiful, but she couldn't help but notice the small scars that now littered it and wondered how they’d happened, afraid to know.

 

He broke her thoughts when he stepped forward again, his hands coming to rest at the sides of her knees and then slowly moving up her thighs, goosebumps dancing across her skin at the touch. They traveled up further and further, her body trembling under his touch, until they finally came to rest before her breasts, his knuckles gently sliding across the skin there.

 

He lowered his forehead to hers, his eyes closely tightly. “It’s been a long time, baby.”

 

Rory’s eyes widened, her head jerking back as she stared at his face. She was sure he had been with someone since he was released. What kind of man wouldn’t have after spending five years in prison. “You haven't-” she started but his eyes opened, meeting hers, and the fire in them answered her question.

 

Joy flooded her, heat pooled. She didn’t want to think about why it pleased her so much, but it did.

 

So fucking much.

 

She bit her lip as she looked up at him through hooded eyes, her voice barely a whisper when she spoke. “What are you waiting for then?”

 

Her words seemed to break something inside of him and in a second, his hands were on her hips again, pulling her off of the table and ripping her panties off, not waiting for her to step from them. Then he was turning her, bending her over the edge and she gripped the sides, waiting to feel him slide into her, but instead, she heard a thud as his knees hit the floor and then his hands were on her thighs, spreading them, and his mouth was on her.

 

She couldn't control the scream that tore from her lips. His hands gripped her tighter as he devoured her from behind, not letting her move. Her orgasm came quick, tearing through her, causing her to buck into the table but he didn’t stop. It seemed to only spur him on and he continued his delicious torture, licking, sucking, and driving her body higher and higher until she felt another another one building.  

 

“Tristan, I need more,” she gasped the words and he slid his tongue into her once more, flicking her clit teasingly before he was turning her. She met his eyes and the fire in them, the way his lips curled up into a devilish grin after he slowly licked them had her almost coming again right then and there.

 

His hands caught hers and laced their fingers before pinning them to the table top she was sitting on. His mouth found her neck, sucking and biting his way down to her chest before latching onto a nipple, sucking hard before flicking it with his tongue, once, twice, and her body shook.

 

She was on fire, right at the peak again and begging to go over but his slow torture just dragged it out, teasing release but not giving it.

 

When his hands left hers, she found his hair again, pulling his face to hers for a hard kiss before her hands were moving down the hard lines of his back and then around to the front, sliding beneath the boxers he still wore to grip him.

 

Her lips curved at the feel of him, so hard and hot in her hand, but when she started to stroke him, he caught her wrist, stopping her. “It’s been a while,” his words were a pained whisper when he spoke. “If I’m going to come, it’s going to be with my cock buried inside of you.”

 

She thought there was no way she could be more turned on, almost on the brink of another orgasm, her body still feeling the after effects of the one he’d just brought her to with his mouth. But the second those words left his lips, any doubt she had vanished. All she wanted was this. Right now.

 

“I guess you better fuck me then.”

 

Her words were all it took and in a second, she was lifted again, her back meeting the wall the same time he buried himself inside of her. Their simultaneous moans echoed through the apartment and he pulled back, only to thrust into her again, each movement driving her insane and bringing her back to that peak once again. Her hands gripped his shoulders, his arms, anything she could grab onto as he pounded into her body relentlessly.

 

She came again, his name on her lips when she did and rode it out as he thrust into her again, once, twice, and then he was following her, his fingers promising to leave bruises and the thought pleased her more than she cared to admit.

 

When they had controlled their breathing, when they’d come back down, he moved with her, his cock still buried inside her as he carried her down the hallway and to his bedroom, his bed.

 

Rory fell back against it, watching as he came to rest above, his eyes dragging over her body slowly before meeting hers.

 

When he kissed her this time, it was something more. The frantic need was gone, and now they were left with just the emotions buried deep.

 

He laid over her for a long time, kissing her, touching her, hands tracing every line of her body as if he wanted to make sure he had remembered it correctly. His eyes worshiping her, his hands owning her.

 

Without the urgency, every other emotion started to rise to the surface and she couldn’t fight them off.

 

The memories, the love. It was overwhelming.

 

_"I get tattoos when something big happens in my life."_

 

_Rory blinked back the tears that started to form and stared wordlessly at his chest, tracing the tattoo with her eyes, unable to look away._

 

_"And the big thing…" she started, lifting her eyes to meet his._

 

_"You."_

 

Tears stung her eyes, even as she urged him on, spreading her legs so he could ender her again when she felt him hardening against her leg.

 

It was slow this time, their lips dancing to the beat of his thrusts as he slowly moved against her, teasing her body up and over again.

 

And when he called her baby and whispered the words, the words she prayed he wouldn’t say, as he spilled into her again, her body taking him, it was was broke her.

 

When he got up to get a towel and she heard the faucet turn on, she didn’t think before she was moving to the kitchen, frantically searching for her clothes and tugging them on, biting back tears. Her hands found her phone, texting Emma quickly.

 

She wanted the anger back, the frustration. That she could deal with. But not this, not the pain. Not the hurt. Not the reminder that her broken heart hasn't fully healed like she’d hoped.

 

When she heard him coming, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and wiping any emotion from her face, doing her best to display indifference.

 

He’d pulled on a pair of jeans but had not buttoned them, instead they rode low on his hips, displaying his tanned and toned body. And those scars. Those horrifying scars that had her heart aching even more.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

She knew he didn’t mean to let the worry show in his words, but it did, and it made her feel even worse about what she was about to do.

 

But she had to.

 

This couldn’t happen. Not again.

 

“I messaged my secretary, she’s going to swing by and get me.”

 

Tristan set the towel he’d been carrying down on the counter and walked towards her but stopped a few feet away.

 

“I can drive you,” he offered, watching her closely.

 

Rory shook her head, putting on her best smile. “There’s no need. I’m sure you have stuff to do.”

 

He was quiet for a moment and she moved to leave but his words stopped her. “Stay.”

 

The tears stung again but she blinked them away before she met his eyes. “This… I hope you didn’t think this was something that it wasn’t.”

 

Her own words left her feeling sick as they fell from her lips.

 

Tristan smirked then, his eyes darkening and she could almost see his walls go up as his face turned to stone. “And what was it then?”

 

His voice was cold. Colder than she’d ever heard it before. Even back then.

 

“Sex, Tristan.” She took a steadying breath before taking a step toward the door. “Just casual sex between two consenting adults. Nothing more.”

 

He nodded, his jaw flexing. “ _Casual_ sex,” he repeated. “I don’t remember you thinking there was ever anything causal about it.”

 

Rory looked down at her feet then, a sad smile gracing her lips. “Well, things change,” she told him, her words implying much more than they let on and when his eyes flashed, she knew he had gotten the hint.

 

Her phone dinged with a message from Emma, announcing her arrival downstairs and Rory met his eyes once more as she reached for the handle to the door. “I will see you at the fitting next week,” she told him, and when he didn’t respond, she glanced around the apartment once more, the apartment that was filled with so many memories, before she met his eyes and whispered her strongest goodbye before walking out.

 

She didn’t cry in the elevator. She didn’t cry during the car ride. She didn’t even cry when she’d gotten home and answered the call from Paris who announced that she was indeed expecting.

 

She’d smiled and sent her words of encouragement, promising to get together the next day to celebrate.

 

It wasn’t until after she’d hung up the phone that her knees gave out and she’d sunk to the floor as everything hit her full force.

 

And the tears didn’t stop until exhaustion carried her off to dreams about a blue eyed man that she still loved far too much.

* * *

_Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap_

_Loving you still takes shots at me_

_Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured_

_And I lost so much more than my senses_

_'Cause loving you had consequences_

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3  
> Find me on tumblr: [secretsofthesky](http://www.secretsofthesky.tumblr.com)


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